


Cut From the Same Cloth

by cherublush



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M, I don't know how to tag things here sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-13 17:58:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11765322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherublush/pseuds/cherublush
Summary: Cara Shelby has been caught in one of Tommy’s, her brother’s, schemes once again. But this time his plans lead her down a far more dangerous path than she was anticipating. A far lonelier path, so she thinks. Now it’s her time to live up to her name- discover what it means to be human.playlist--->https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLv6u-3QJkS1HyehOjR1YQ55Gct7bXv-ON





	1. part one

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will be inconsistent with the current PB timeline, I won’t say exactly how since not everyone might be caught up. But I pretend certain things are different, don’t judge me!!! This first installment is meant to set the tone, I know it’s boring but bear with me!

For the past five months Cara has been one of Thomas’ many pawns in one of his many schemes. Although she agreed to it, she went in blind thinking she would finally have a real chance at helping the family business.

There have always been old money in Birmingham, the largest of families being the Bradleys. Hundreds of members spread out further than just Birmingham but Thomas had his eye on one of the nephews of Garrick Bradley, the man who had his hands in many pockets and a foot in every door. Thomas needed Bradley’s societal connections, he needed to network with all interested parties invested in anything from shipping, betting, racing, arms dealing, and political leanings. Garrick Bradley’s nephew, Roland Bradley, was being groomed to fill his uncle’s shoes. He was the perfect target.

For weeks Thomas had him followed. He learned his schedule, habits, likes and dislikes, friends and acquaintances, everything. But he had very little idea how to get inside his routine life. Who could be close enough to him to learn his secrets, to be a confidant? The notion came to him at a strange time. He and Grace were sat in their parlour having a drink before turning in, Charles put to bed hours ago, when Grace asks him, “When will Cara visit us again?”

It hits him like a ton of bricks- Cara. The only one of his two sisters that have anything to do with the family business. She has always been the caretaker, second to Aunt Polly, born between John and Ada. She usually consented to help him with his shenanigans and before Grace came along she was the one person he could talk to. Though compared to his version of talking to everyone else it wasn’t much different.

The very next day he called her at the hotel she was staying at in London from his office.

“What do I owe the pleasure of this call, Tommy?” Her voice was dry as usual, but she sounded like she was smiling.

“I can’t call my favourite sister just for the hell of it?” He almost smiles, knowing what her response would be.

“Oh please!” She laughs lightly, “I was never your favourite, you always liked Ada better than me,” Her pause was slightly weighted. “You only ever call when you want something, what is it now?”

“I need help with some business,” He almost tells her more but worries who could be listening. “But Charlie misses you, too, and Grace,” He tries to keep his voice light, hoping she would understand why he wouldn’t say more. “How soon can you get home?”

Cara sighs, “I can be there in a few days, there are a few loose ends I need to tighten first.”

Thomas smiles for real this time. “I’ll have a room ready for you at the estate,” Cara laughs again on the other end, “and I’ll tell everyone you’ll be here soon.”

“Be good until I get there.”

John picked her up from the train station. Standing in the steam, waving his hat like an excited kid he yells to her, “Oi! Took you long enough!” Gaining several peeved looks he moved forward to grab Cara’s bags.

“Always the loudest in a group, aren’t you?” Cara leans in and hugs him, pulling away to kiss his cheek. “How are you? And Esmee? And the kids?”

John laughs and leads her to the car. “You’ll see them all soon, won’t you?”

Settling in the front with him, Cara asks, “Do you know what Tommy has planned for me? You know I hate surprises.”

“He hasn’t told me very much,” He tries to keep his annoyance from showing, but fails. “Did you expect any different?

“No, not really.” Cara shifts uncomfortably. “But you must know something, right?”

“It has to do with some old money family. I don’t know.”

Cara could feel John’s annoyance radiating off of him so she switched the subject back to the family until they arrived home.

After many hugs and kisses and how are you’s and where have you been’s everyone settled down in the kitchen. The murmur of all the conversations between each other was comforting to Cara, she had missed it very much. It seemed to go on for hours, a lovely stretch of time filled with warmth and laughter. After the children began to drowse Thomas caught eyes with Cara, Polly, John, Arthur, and Grace as he stood quietly.

As he walked out they all stood and followed him to the hall. “Are you all ready to hear what the plan is?” His voice was low and he looked almost apprehensive. He looked at Cara, “Promise you won’t shout.”

“C’mon, Tommy,” Arthur grinned at him, “spit it out already!”

Thomas took a deep breathe and explained their new target, Roland Bradley, and how important his information was. Not just immediately, but in the long term. He paused and Cara cut in, “And how the hell do you expect me to be involved?”

“I want you to court him.” His quiet admittance was met with a gasp from Grace and shocked stares from the others.

“You want your sister to seduce Bradley?” Polly’s voice was also quiet but filled to the brim with fury. “You fucking bastard! How could you ask that of her?” Her finger reached out and jabbed at his chest, “Explain yourself, now!”

“Settle down, Pol-”

“Don’t you dare tell me to settle down!”

“Please, Polly!” She served him one of her famous menacing glares, but quieted. “I’m not asking her to seduce him.” Several pairs of shoulders relaxed. “The Bradleys are very traditional, especially Garrick Bradley, and so is Roland…” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “They act completely within the law, that’s why they have never been caught, there is nothing to catch. I only need Cara to get close to him-” He looked at Cara, “To make him trust you, that’s all.”

The other four looked at Tommy, then they looked at Cara. Polly’s eyes were hard and searching, she grabbed Cara’s hand and said, “You don’t have to do this, love,” She ignored Thomas’ sigh of a protest and continued, “You have done enough for this family already.”

Grace was unreadable, Arthur was stony, and John was rather bewildered. But Cara didn’t feel much of anything other than shock. Part of her would do almost anything for her family, for her brothers and sister. But the other part hesitated and wondered how far Thomas would push her. If this time she would end up falling over the edge.

As Cara experienced this small internal dilemma Grace, Polly, Arthur, and John had grown restless and fidgety, their eyes moving back and forth between Thomas and Cara. But Thomas remained still as ever, watching the cogs turn in her head.

“I have conditions, but I’ll do it.”

A week was spent furthering the plan. Cara was given a false identity, and much of her time was spent with Grace creating a cover story. It was imperative that her Shelby name was kept secret. She was to be Lucy Hall, a member of the once prominent Hall family, though they lot of them had moved away generations ago.

“Hello, I’m Lucy Hall,” Cara stood in front of John, her hand outstretched in greeting, “I hope I’m not crashing your party.” She had practiced the perfect demure smile long ago and it graced her lips with ease.

“I think you’re more than ready,” Thomas called from across the room. All the Shelby Company members who were chosen to participate in this venture were gathered in his office. “Now we just need to get you to the party tonight.”

“Ah, yes,” John took her hand and spun her in a circle, “A fuckin’ party! Wish I was coming with you,” He grinned and winked.

Thomas bypassed this and walked over to them, “Now Cara, we have a house all set for you that will have everything you need, including a telephone for our scheduled calls,” He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a key, “Here is this,” He handed her the key and reached into another pocket, pulling out a small revolver, “And this, keep it with you at all times.” The gun felt lighter in her hand than she was used to.

“One of the men will drive you to the flat and from there-” Thomas started.

“From there I will walk,” Cara finished, nodding. “Yes.”

“Alright then, it’s all settled.” He avoided her eyes most of the past week, hoping Cara wouldn’t notice. But she did and she took this as a sign that this would all be more difficult than he was letting on.

Arriving to the house was surreal, Cara was unused to being in such a nice neighborhood so close to home. Stepping out of the car, she pulled the key from her purse and walked up the porch steps. As she turned the key and pushed the door in, she paid more attention to the glint of the car driving away out of the corner of her eye than the beautiful scene before her. As she put the key away her fingers brushed the revolver, and she was still more reminded of the task ahead.

The party was one street over so she took her time getting ready. Being early, or even on time, to a party was never a good thing. The bathroom had a tub any girl would dream of and it was stocked with all the best oils, perfumes, and powders. The closet was also worth mentioning; her best clothes were moved there yesterday along with a few new pieces. The dress that caught her eye was something she was sure Grace picked out. It was a very beautiful baby blue made of silk and chiffon, thought even with it’s sequins and pearls it managed to be just understated enough to not be too flashy.

The walk to the party took no time at all and Cara felt woefully unprepared even though she’d had a whole week to do so. Before she knew it she found herself ushered in by a smartly dressed doorman into a clouded room full of the rich and powerful. A few heads turned to her as she made her way through the throng of people, but none of them paid her actual attention. As always, Grace knew what she was doing.

Finding Roland Bradley was easier than expected, he was leaning on a wall behind a table that sat his uncle, his eyes wandering the room. Cara made sure to stay out of his line of sight as she wound her way over to him, she wanted to control the meeting. She snatched a glass of champagne from a nearby waiter and swished some in her mouth before making her way to the hallway opening next to Bradley.

She carefully stumbled as she bumped his shoulder, “Oh! Excuse me,” She looked up through her lashes and he grabbed her elbow, “I’m so sorry, excuse me!” She hoped her relaxed posture and the alcohol on her breath was enough to fool him.

“Not to worry,” His voice was smooth and elegant, it shocked her, “It seems the champagne has gotten to your head already, come sit down.” He lead her to a bench in the hallway behind them. “You look familiar, have we met before?”

“I don’t believe so,” Cara kept her voice sweet as they sat down together. “I’m Lucy, Lucy Hall.” She held out her hand and he took it.

“I’m Roland Bradley,” He smiled at her but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I hope I’m not crashing your party,” She said as a question, “That would be so rude of me!”

“No, not at all,” He still held her hand. “I’m very glad you’re here.”

The gleam in his eye as he said this, looking her up and down, sent a chill through her body. This was going to be far worse than she could ever imagined.


	2. part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara Shelby has been caught in one of Tommy’s, her brother’s, schemes once again. But this time his plans lead her down a far more dangerous path than she was anticipating. A far lonelier path, so she thinks. Now it’s her time to live up to her name- discover what it means to be human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic will be inconsistent with the current PB timeline, I won’t say exactly how since not everyone might be caught up. But I pretend certain things are different, don’t judge me!!! More story building in this one too, but stay til the end

It has been four months since Cara went to the party. Time flew by, bringing the warmth of summer and a constant heart-pumping adrenaline rush. It only took two weeks of casually bumping into Roland at social gatherings, business meetings, and a few times at the park. He quickly started to feel the tingling of fate, hoping God was nudging his future wife into his path.

Very soon Roland wrote a letter asking her father permission to court Cara. An answer was made sure to be sent after an appropriate amount of time by Thomas, whose handwriting was far lovelier than Cara remembered. Then the real games began.

Picnics at the park, boat rides on the river, late afternoon tea, and strolls about the neighborhood were spent discussing everything about Roland. Any other man spending so much time talking about himself would be a waste of time in Cara’s eyes, but she was really hoping he would be this type of man. She barely said a word about herself, only asking careful questions and agreeing with him when he actually looked at her for it. He was making this easy in that sense but she kept her guard firmly up because she knew better than to let it down for one second around any man, let alone Roland.

Time not spent retelling the same stories over and over again, each time more exciting than the last, was spent at glittering parties in various clubs and houses. At their third party together, Cara noticed immediately how sticky his fingers were. Not just how he literally stole little trinkets and jewels from the hosts and other party-goers, but also how he was almost as talented at worming information out of people as she was.

Of course she never gave any indication she noticed this. She clung firmly to his arm, complimenting and agreeing with him at every opportunity. This encouraged his tongue to loosen after he’d had enough drinks and he started to tell her practically anything if she asked the right way.

The same day every week she stayed awake until midnight to make her scheduled calls to Thomas at the Garrison. Though this was only for a well being check in, any information was to be written and delivered by post.

“Hello, old friend,” Cara said after being connected with Thomas. “How have you been?”

His private room kept the rowdy pub noises down to a minimum. “Oh very well, thank you.” Thomas’ voice was monotonous, they’d had this same conversation what felt like a hundred times already. “How are you? How’s the weather there?”

“I’m very well, also.” Cara’s hand tightened on the mouthpiece, she thought she heard a car drive past outside. “The weather is still better than expected.”

“Very well,” Thomas heard the tightness in her voice. “We shall talk again soon, old friend.”

“Yes, soon,” Cara sighed. “Goodbye.” And she hung up the phone.

A few weeks before this call with Thomas, Roland showed a new side to himself. She knew he would be controlling just by the way they met and how the narrative was always one sided and how he always made sure she had a drink in her hand. She supposed it was her fault because she made sure to be only a pretty thing, meek and mild and adoring. He started making little comments about her appearance and habits like it was his business to do so.

On one of their park picnics he made the first comment, “You really should slow down eating there, Lucy,” He smiled and pulled the plate of sandwiches away from her, toward him. “We don’t want you getting too plump now, do we?”

Cara was too stunned to say anything. She had always liked her plumpness. “I suppose not, darling,” She simpered, sipping from her wine glass. “You are always right, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am,” He sat a little straighter, his confidence bolstered. “You also need to keep your hat on, freckles are so unbecoming of you.”

“Yes,” She put her sun hat back on, still smiling. “Of course.”

He continued gaining confidence with his newfound control over her. Whenever they were together, which was most evenings, he replaced any food in her hand with a drink. When he took her shopping he picked everything out for her, sometimes drab and boring pieces and other times dresses that were far more revealing than she felt comfortable in. She no longer was allowed any time with the ladies she made friends with in the neighborhood. He enjoyed watching her face fall, so he began encouraging more silence from her. He no longer enjoyed her compliments and seemed to consider her already his mouse of a wife.

The night she made that call to Thomas was the night he put an engagement ring on her finger. They were having a quiet dinner together when he suddenly leaned across the table and grabbed her hand. “I can’t wait to marry you.” He chuckled as he realized the ring was half a size too big and made sure to congratulate her for it.

She made it one month as Roland Bradley’s fiancee. One month of dishing out tired smiles to every person that congratulated them. One month of him planning the engagement party. One month of keeping steady on her feet no matter how many drinks were thrust in her hand with barely one solid meal in her stomach. She began to doubt her abilities to remember the information she overheard and the few minutes she was able to steal in his office to search through his papers were unproductive.

She knew it was time to get out the night of the engagement party. He had kept her tight to his side all night, his perfect little doll. She took the one chance she had to sneak off to the toilet to catch her breath, to stop her head from spinning. When she looked in the mirror she didn’t see the Cara she remembered herself to be. This Cara was tired, thin, the circles under her eyes were dark and sad. This Cara had gone past too far long ago.

It was time to go home. She didn’t know how to manage it but she would do anything at this point.

After finally getting back to the house, it was many hours past midnight. She waited for Roland’s car to turn down the street before running to the phone to call Thomas, hoping with everything left in her that he had waited for her.

“Hello, old friend,” Cara said after she was connected to Thomas. “How have you been?”

A great sigh reached her ears, “Oh very well, thank you.” Thomas’ voice was filled with relief. “How are you? How’s the weather there?”

“Not very well at all,” Cara’s voice cracked as she tried to keep herself together. “I’m afraid it’s been raining for days and the thunder has kept me awake most nights.”

There was a few moments pause before he spoke again. “It’s been sunny here, why don’t you come for a visit?” His voice was taught with anxiety.

“I would enjoy that very much,” A weight lifted slightly off her chest, “I can be there by tomorrow afternoon. Will you have tea waiting for me?”

“Always, old friend.” He waited for her to hang up before turning to Arthur, who was sat next to him. “I want someone sitting by this phone at all times until she gets back.”

“What’s wrong?” Arthur’s face contorted with worry and confusion. “Is Cara okay?”

“I don’t know,” Thomas stood and made his way to the door. “I don’t fucking know.”

She allowed herself a few hours of sleep before packing a bag. It was really unnecessary save for a few letters she had stolen and a journal of names and companies and such, but to be seen walking so early in the morning with nothing in her hand would likely arouse suspicion. She also didn’t plan on ever returning to this house again.

She made it to the post office just after it had opened to drop off the papers and journal. These were sent as several separate packages, each addressed to a different house that the Shelby Company owned. Then she began walking home. It would take hours to get home if she did it the right way, winding down slim alleyways and doubling back as many times as her tired body allowed.

It was past noon when she started losing track of where she was. It was too late to turn around as she noticed her mistake. Across the road, stood chatting to two of his business partners, was Roland. Cara wanted to kick herself, she didn’t see that it was his favourite cafe two buildings down. She should have realized that he would have his ‘business meeting’ here.

If she turned back now he would be more likely to notice her. His eyes had already passed over her twice without consequence, so she hoped that if she kept walking he would continue not noticing her. She relaxed her shoulders, pushed her hat down further on her head, and walked on.

She made it down the street all the way, nothing happened. A surge of victory coursed through her veins as she sped up. Then her heart stopped.

“Lucy!” The sound of shoes slapping pavement grew closer and she began to sweat. “Lucy, wait, where are you going?”

Cara turned around to face him, Roland, keeping her face calm and her smile docile. “I’m headed to visit my aunt,” Confusion crossed his face. “I told you last night, remember? I want to tell her about the engagement in person.”

“Why didn’t she come to the party?” His question was borderline scolding.

“Oh, dear,” Cara managed a light laugh and touched his arm, “She’s far too old to be going to parties. That’s why I want to tell her in person!”

“Oh.” He stood still for a moment, calculating her answer. “Why are you sweating?”

“It’s rather warm today.” It only made her sweat more.

“It’s almost September,” He folded his arms over his chest. “And you’re wearing a coat.”

“Well I’ve been walking for a while, you know.” She was fucking up, she needed to stop contradicting him. But she needed to get away.

“Why don’t we go have a drink at the cafe, so you can rest?” He took her bag and her elbow, steering her back down the street. “Then we can go see your aunt together, my meeting has just finished.”

They were only at the cafe for twenty minutes but it felt like hours. Cara regained some composure and concentrated on how she might manage to subdue him. This would not be like any other man she had to take down in the past, for he was stronger than her now that she had become so worn out.

Her third drink seemed to hit her harder than usual. She had let her eyes wander as he poured it, she was assessing their fellow patrons and all the exits. Her eyes began to droop and she slumped in her chair.

“Ah, yes,” Roland stood and began to help her out of the chair. “Time to go home now.”

Cara’s ears began to ring, her eyesight went fuzzy, and her body began to go numb. She tried to say, “But what about seeing my aunt?” But her tongue was like sandpaper in her mouth and she doubted it came out right.

The bell on the door rang faintly as she was nearly carried out by Roland. Then after the short walk to his car, she was shoved unceremoniously into the passenger seat.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” He asked her as her peeled away. “Do you really think I would fall for your little story about your old auntie?” The car swerved around the corners and Cara was afraid she would hurl. “I know what you have been doing when I’m not with you. My uncle told me to marry you sooner, but of course I thought you were better than stepping out on me!” His laugh was menacing and loud.

Cara tried to protest this, but she blacked out before she could open her slack mouth.

Cara awoke tucked into absurdly white sheets on the most uncomfortable mattress she’d ever been in. Voices were murmuring, or were they shouting, from outside the room.

The room… Clean, white brick walls and dark cabinets surrounded her. She also saw a tray of silver instruments to her left and she moved her head. But that was a mistake, her head was pounding and her throat was sore.

How did she get here? She closed her eyes as images flashed in her mind’s eye. Roland dragging her into his cellar, strapping her to a chair and gagging her mouth. Yelling, screaming at her, his face contorted with rage and hate. Hitting her. Cutting her. Burning her. The images stopped with the memory of him slicing deep into her navel. Then the door slammed open.

Polly strode in like an angry bull, Ada and John behind her. Thomas and Arthur lingered by the doorway behind the scandalized nurse and doctor. She shoved the silver table away and knelt down beside Cara, holding her face in her shaking hands.

“What has happened?” Her voice was quiet, but she turned her head and yelled, “What the fuck have you gotten her into this time?!” Her accusation was directed at Thomas.

His mouth was shut tight and his face was unreadable. Ada piped in from the other side of the bed, “Who did this? You better fucking say he’s dead, whoever did it!” There was an outbreak of yelling among the family, Cara didn’t catch any of it, her head was spinning again.

“Could we have a moment, please?” Thomas gestured to the nurse and doctor, who were still speechless.

They both nodded and walked out. After the door was shut Thomas held up his hand for silence. “Nothing can be done about Bradley yet,” He huffed in annoyance as the yelling started up again. “Shut the fuck up!”

“No, Tommy!” Ada rounded up on him, pointing in his face. “You shut the fuck up! You sent her to do your dirty work with Roland fucking Bradley knowing full well what kind of sick bastard he is, I bet you didn’t even tell her did you?”

Thomas looked at every face in the room except Cara’s. He took a deep breath before saying in his best commanding tone, “We need to carry out the plan as best we can-” Voices all around were trying to talk over him now, but he pressed on, “And we need to get Cara somewhere safe until that happens.”

“Safe?” Polly spat, “Fucking safe? Tommy, you are in some deep fucking shit if you think the Bradley’s haven’t got eyes all over Birmingham!” She stood up and walked over to Thomas, stopping only when she was inches from his stony face. “What the fuck kind of plan do you have to keep your sister safe?” She sneered at him.

“Alfie Solomons.” Thomas said. This was met with a scoff from Arthur.

“Aflie fucking Solomons?” He laughed. “You must be fucking joking, Tommy! You can’t trust that bastard-.”

“Mr Solomons owes me a favour,” Thomas looked at Cara, finally, and said to her, “He’s the only person I trust to keep you safe until everything is done.”

Everyone looked at Cara now, waiting for her to respond. She almost tried to sit up, but thought better of it. Her throat strained and burned as she said, “If anything else happens to me, Thomas,” His eyes flickered as she said is full name in her cold tone, “I will never call myself a Shelby again.”

The plan was a car would take Cara to Camden Town in one hour, after she knew what to do with her injuries and had gotten the medications from the doctors.

Polly and Ada sat quietly next to her, none of them knowing what to say. John stayed outside the room, keeping guard. Thomas and Arthur had left to do what, Cara didn’t care to know. She just wanted to be out of Birmingham.

The car ride would be long and uncomfortable, even though she was swaddled in a thick blanket and laid in the back seat. Whoever was driving her didn’t speak and she was grateful for it. She let herself sleep, medicated and dreamless all the way there.

She was jolted awake when the car door opened. It was dark and misty out, and it was cold. The driver helped her out of the seat and led her up a few steps to a small porch and set her down. As he went to get a few bags from the car, the front door opened with a soft creek to reveal a hunched silhouette.

“What’re you doing down there?” A man stepped out into the moonlight and reached to help her up. “It’s far too cold for a little thing like you to be outside.”

Aflie lead her inside the house, careful to not press his arm too hard into her broken ribs. “You’ll have the spare room just here,” They went down a narrow hallway and into a room. “I know it’s small but just think of it as cozy,” He pulled back the sheets and she sank into the blessedly comfortable mattress. “And you won’t see much of me, so don’t worry about that, I’m always at the bakery.”

The driver came in the room too, setting the bags at the end of the bed. The last thing Cara saw before her eyes closed was Alfie pulling the curtains closed over the small window and shutting the door as he shuffled out.


	3. part three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara Shelby has been caught in one of Tommy’s, her brother’s, schemes once again. But this time his plans lead her down a far more dangerous path than she was anticipating. A far lonelier path, so she thinks. Now it’s her time to live up to her name- discover what it means to be human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic will be inconsistent with the current PB timeline, I won’t say exactly how since not everyone might be caught up. But I pretend certain things are different, don’t judge me!!! Alfie is here, yay! I’m still working on my dialogue skills so I hope your imagination is up to scratch :)

Cara didn’t have any contact with Alfie Solomons for a whole week after she’d arrived. This was of no consequence to her, though. But she did care about the guards sitting on a stoop across the street day and night, they were different every few hours but they were a firm presence she was thankful for.

She spent the first day and night in bed, barely moving at all. But by the second night she grew restless and needed to know more about Bradley and why Thomas didn’t tell her whatever it was about him everyone else seemed to know. So she called Ada from the phone next to a wooden bench by the front door. She almost called Polly, but would rather Thomas didn’t know she was talking to anyone.

“Are you busy?” Was the first thing she said after connecting with Ada. “I can call back.”

“Oh, Cara!” She sounded strained, but relieved. “I’m so happy you called, I wasn’t sure you would…”

“Of course I’ll call,” Cara’s voice was barely above a whisper. “I’m not angry with you.”

“Tommy is a right fucking prick for not telling you everything!” Ada was trying to keep herself in control, she didn’t want to rile up her sister. “But we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to-”

“I need to know.” Cara paused to take a steadying breath. “Tell me just this once and we can never speak of it again.”

Ada sighed and said, “Bradley has done this before, what he did to you,” she waited to hear if Cara had anything to say but her end was silent. “He’s done it to two other women that I know of.”

“Who were they?”

“I don’t really know, I didn’t know them personally,” Ada was getting in her stride now so Cara kept quiet. “Apparently about five or six years ago his uncle introduced him to a girl from another well-off family hoping they would get together, but I guess she wasn’t the right girl because they were only courting for a few months before she went missing-” She said this all in one breath, barely stopping, “and then only three years go by and he did it again! He started courting another girl, it lasted way longer this time but she went missing before they could get married!” She ended in a huff and went quiet.

“Why don’t I remember this? I feel like I would remember something like this-” Cara started.

“So many things happened between then and now, Cara,” Ada’s voice went all soft and she sighed again, “You can’t put that on yourself, love.”

“I know,” Cara rubbed her eyes with her free hand. “Thank you for telling me, Ada.”

Ada let out a dry laugh, “I’ll never lie to you, I promise.” Cara believed the honesty she heard in Ada’s voice. “Now tell me, is Solomons how people say he is?”

“I only saw him the once,” Cara looked out the window behind her out of reflex, “He said he spends most of his time at the bakery, which has been true so far.”

“I do hope his temperament isn’t as bad as I’ve heard…” Ada almost said more but thought better of it, “He just seems rather… grouchy, I suppose.” She grimaced as she said this, it wasn’t exactly true. Alfie Solomons was known to be unpredictable and violent.

Cara smiled and shook her head, she knew exactly what Ada was avoiding saying. “I’m still a Shelby, I can handle an unpredictable man just fine.”

Ada laughed again, “I hope you always are, Cara, you can’t leave me alone in this fucking bullshit!” They both laughed together.

“How is Karl-” Cara started, but heard heavy footsteps come up towards the door. “I think he’s coming in, I’d better go-” And she hung up without saying goodbye.

Cara stood up from the bench, leaning her hand on the wall, just and the door opened. The man who stepped over the threshold was not Alfie Solomons, but rather a younger man than him.

“Sorry-” He started, “I hope I didn’t scare you.” His voice was softer than she expected. “I’m Ollie, Mr Solomon’s assistant.” He didn’t step further in, waiting for Cara to say something.

“Oh,” She said, shuffling her feet. “Is something wrong? Am I allowed to use the phone?”

Ollie’s eyebrows scrunched together as he tilted his head. “Of course you are, Mr Solomons said to tell you that you’re free to do whatever you please while you’re here.”

He stepped further in now and Cara noticed he was carrying several bags. He started down the hall before looking back at her and saying, “Oh! I’ve brought food,” He turned back and continued walking to the kitchen. “He wasn’t sure what you like so he told me to get a variety.”

Cara closed the door and followed him. The kitchen was clean and tidy, it didn’t look like it was used very much. She stood in the doorway and watched Ollie as he put everything away. “Is that supposed to be all for me?”

“Well Mr Solomons doesn’t really come home often,” Ollie said, “He has his little set up at the bakery for when things get busy, you probably won’t see him much.” When he finished putting the groceries away he turned and looked at her. “Have you been following the doctor’s orders?”

“No.” Cara was growing confused. “Why do you ask that?”

“I’m supposed to make sure you’re taking care of yourself, that’s all.” He smiled.

“Oh.” She stared awkwardly, completely unsure what to do with herself.

Ollie tried to pass over this and smiled again. “Well that’s it from me then,” He started towards the doorway and Cara shuffled over. “Remember you have free reign here, do what you want, take your medicine, all that shit.” He laughed to himself as he made his way to the door.

“Thank you, Ollie,” Cara smiled at him as he opened the door and stepped out the porch. “And tell Mr Solomons I said thank you to him, too.”

Ollie nodded and gave a small wave as he walked back to the car. Cara watched him drive away before nodding at the guards across the street and closing the door.

She stood there for a few moments digesting the encounter, or maybe it was a few whole minutes, before really looking around her. To the right was a large window that looked out to the street but hung heavy drapes, from the window stretched a sitting room with overstuffed chairs and a sofa. Across from the sofa and coffee table was a modest fireplace, the mantle had many books stacked quite high on it and on either side of it were large cabinets filled also with books. Though the books in there were neater.

To the left was the hallway that led to the kitchen and spare room, but a staircase was just after the front door. Cara was only mildly surprised she had just noticed this. She supposed it led to Alfie’s rooms but she couldn’t be bothered to walk up there in the state she was in. So she settled for finding the downstairs bathroom to try and clean up as much as her stitches and injuries would allow.

The next few days she spent reading and eating. The two things she hadn’t had time or permission to do for all those months. She found herself laughing at the funny parts in the books and enjoying the taste of the food she made even though it irritated her throat at first. Her favourite spot to do both of these quickly became the sofa in front of the fireplace.

This is exactly where she was sitting the night Alfie came home. Rather she was slumped over, book on the floor, and her tea gone cold on the table. He almost didn’t notice her as he made his way to the kitchen, and had a start when he finally did.

He actually felt his face soften as he looked at her in the light of the dying fire. Even with all the cuts and bruises littering her face, she had a very sweet one. He could see the family resemblance in her round nose and lips, though her hair was a lighter brown. He carefully walked over to pick up her tea cup, trying his best to be quiet.

As he walked back through to the kitchen a savoury smell wafted to his nose. He was greeted with a small mess on the counters, flour here and sugar there, and a pan of lemon cake with a piece missing. As he cleaned up, he thought on the conversation he had with Ollie the other day.

He was sitting at his desk when Ollie returned from delivering the food to Cara. He came in quietly as usual, taking a seat across from Alfie.

“Did it go well?” Alfie grunted, not looking up from his papers.

“Well enough,” Ollie adjusted his legs and leaned back. “She told me to tell you ‘thank you’.”

“How very nice.” He sniffed and looked up at Ollie. “Well? Is she following doctor’s orders?”

“No,” Ollie smirked, “But I reminded her to.”

“Good.” Alfie scratched his beard. “Ain’t gonna have her die on my watch, Tommy’d fucking gut me, wouldn’t he?” The question was rhetorical, but he meant it.

“She seems strong, though,” Ollie stood up to make his way to the door. “She’ll make it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Shelbys an’ all that.”

When Alfie finished up in the kitchen, having had himself a bite of the delicious cake, he saw that Cara had shifted and sunk down further in her uncomfortable position. Part of him wanted to wake her up so she would go sleep in her bed, but another part couldn’t bear to wake her at all. So he settled on pulling her legs out from under her so she stretched out completely on the sofa and laid the blanket that had fallen to the floor over her. Satisfied with himself he made a drink and grabbed a book off of the mantle and sat down to read.

The sound of a page turning awoke Cara from her drug-induced sleep. It had been a few hours since Alfie had come home. At first she was confused, then fearful, but when she lifted her head and saw Alfie she didn’t startle. He sniffed, turning another page as she watched him for a moment.

“Finally awake then?” His voice was as quiet and gravelly as when she first arrived. He didn’t get a response so he continued, “How long you been sleeping anyway?’

Cara managed to sit up, grimacing at the sharp pains in her head and ribs. “Erm,” She readjusted the blanket as she tried to remember. “I think I fell asleep about noon? I don’t remember.” She continued to stare at him, unsure what to think.

“That’s good,” He closed his book and leaned forward to set it on the table. “Sleep is good for healing, yeah.” He hunched over with his elbows on his knees, staring into the fire.

Cara nodded, this time unsure if he wanted her to say anything. She decided to let their silence hang there, neither of them were uncomfortable with it. After a few minutes Alfie cleared his throat and looked at her.

“How would it be,” He took off his glasses and let them fall to his chest on their chain. “How would you like coming to work for me at the bakery once you heal up a bit more?”

Cara blinked a few times, rather shocked. It had been such a long time since someone asked her opinion on anything that she forgot what it felt like. In the moments she absorbed what he asked it had started to rain. The pattering on the window brought her out of her reverie.

“I suppose that would be nice,” She said. “What would you have me do?”

“Well now,” He shifted in his seat so his whole body faced her. “Ollie has been given quite a lot more responsibilities that take him elsewhere other than the bakery,” He paused and scratched at his beard. “So you’ll be picking up his slack as far as copying documents and reports and recording meetings and such-”

He paused and watched as Cara sat a little straighter, then grinned at her as he said, “And maybe if you’re still here after a while you can run a few errands for me now and again.”

Cara’s head tilted back as she laughed. “So I’m to be your receptionist and errand girl, am I?”

“Well shit,” He chuckled, “Do you want to be a fuckin’ baker then?”

“No,” She said. “Not your kind of baker.”

He raised his hand a gesture as if to say, ‘well, there you go then’. He stood up and put his book back on the mantle before turning to face her again. His body blocked the light of the fire and sent her face into shadow.

“Who did this to you anyway?” His question was blunt and firm. “Tommy never told me.”

Cara was taken off guard for a second, but collected herself quickly. At the moment the whole ordeal felt very far away and she found it easy to answer.

“Roland Bradley.” He gave no indication that he knew the name. “He tortured me because he thought I was stepping out on him.” She didn’t mean to say it, but it slipped out.

Alfie crossed his arms over his chest and looked into her eyes. “I am truly sorry that men are such horrible fucking monsters.”

Cara swallowed thickly and said, “I am, too.” She looked down at the carpet he stood on.

“You let me know when you’re ready to come to work, yeah?” He said after a moment.

“Can I start tomorrow?” Cara had already decided that she liked how far away everything was and didn’t want to lose the feeling.


	4. part four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara Shelby has been caught in one of Tommy’s, her brother’s, schemes once again. But this time his plans lead her down a far more dangerous path than she was anticipating. A far lonelier path, so she thinks. Now it’s her time to live up to her name- discover what it means to be human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic will be inconsistent with the current PB timeline, I won’t say exactly how since not everyone might be caught up. But I pretend certain things are different, don’t judge me!!! I have no idea what I’m doing but that’s okay because I’m having fun and I hope you are too!!!! <3

Alfie seemed like he wanted to protest at first, but he just sighed and said, “Ah, fuck it. Tomorrow it is.”

Morning came quickly. Cara awoke to the rising sun glaring in her face and the sheets tangled in her legs. She groaned as she sat up, the movement pulling at the stitches in her stomach. These would need to be removed soon… but she didn’t want to think about that.

After finally getting out of bed she found herself in front of the mirror in the bathroom. What a sight- she almost laughed out loud. The bruises on her temple were starting to yellow but the redness in her eye was still very prominent along with blackness under it. But the swelling in her split lip was almost gone and her jaw was no longer as sore as it was the last few days.

Lifting her night dress she checked if the wound in her navel was infected, thankfully it wasn’t. Then it was time to remove the wraps around her ribs, she was afraid to get pneumonia. The process was difficult, but taking her first deep breathe felt good even though she was squinting through the pain. 

After washing up she dug through her bags in search of something appropriate to wear. As she finished getting ready her heart began to flutter with excitement. Finally something normal for once! Although, she supposed it wasn’t really that normal to be working for a gangster. But maybe being a Shelby made it normal.

Half expecting Alfie to be waiting impatiently for her, she was surprised to find he was nowhere downstairs. But footsteps from above revealed he hadn’t left and forgotten her. So she sat at the bench by the phone and waited, her leg jiggling slightly. 

He came down the stairs a small while later, his face still puffy with sleep. When he saw Cara he started a bit and paused before saying, “We’re not in a hurry are we?” His tone was light and teasing but she still blushed and looked down at her hands.

“Sorry,” Cara said sheepishly, “I’ve been so used to waking up early…”

“No apologies necessary,” He said in a huff, continuing down the stairs. “Don’t fuckin’ tell me you’re not someone who skips breakfast, though,” He walked past her towards the kitchen. “I can’t do nothin’ without coffee first, at least.”

After arriving to the bakery, Cara was disappointed to find that it was already busy and business was in full swing. The walk to Alfie’s office was incredibly nerve-wracking. All the men’s heads turned as they walked past because even thought she tried to stay a step behind him she stuck out like a sore thumb. A girl in a dress with a fucked up face.

Alfie’s office was a welcome respite after the walk that felt a thousand miles long. He went around to his desk and took a seat and rearranged a few things on it before a addressing her. “So,” he sniffed, “Miss Cara Shelby, what shall you start with today, hmm?” It wasn’t really a question so she continued to stand awkwardly in front of him, hands clasped in front of her.

He pulled a box out from the side of the desk and dragged it over to a typewriter on a table in the corner. “These files were damaged recently, go through and retype the damaged ones.” She sat down and opened the box, immediately pulling a face. She couldn’t tell if the dark brown stains covering some of the files were blood or some kind of muck. She was just happy it was dry. 

Quite some hours were spent like that. Several men came in and out of the office during this time for some reason or another, but Cara continued working on the damaged files. It was easy this way to let her mind wander without fearing breaking down. There was no option for that. So she let thoughts and memories idly pass by in her mind, all of the scary ones. It wasn’t until she reached back into the box to inspect another file that she realized she had finished the last one already. When she looked up she also realized Alfie had been sitting there watching her, for how long she couldn’t tell.

“Oh-” Cara started, “I’m finished.” She tried to keep her face neutral, she didn’t want to know why he was watching her nor did she want him to know that she caught him.

“Very good,” Alfie stood up and walked over to her, “You type fast.” He stooped down and picked up the box, he grunted “Ah, fuck,” and walked out of the office.

Cara wasn’t sure if he meant her to follow him so she stayed seated. But a few moments later he backed up and called to her from outside the door, “Oi! Fuck, c’mon, follow me now.” She got up and followed him out along the dark hallways and down two flights of stairs. He stopped when they arrived to a locked door.

“Here, hold this,” He handed her the box, when their fingers brushed they caught eyes but he turned away quickly to unlock the door with a key from around his neck. Stepping inside, Alfie pulled a string hanging from the ceiling and the room became illuminated with a dull, yellow light. Cara eyes widened, from floor to ceiling there were stacks of boxes like the one she was holding, there must have been over a hundred easily.

Alfie turned back and took the box from her, “This is my private storage room,” he said, finding a spot for it in a far corner. “Where I keep, ah, sensitive documents.” He winked at her. “Though I’m sure you fuckin’ figured that out, yeah?”

“Oh, no,” Cara shook her head, “I don’t think I actually absorbed what I was reading…” She almost got nervous before understanding that he didn’t care if she had.

“You see,” He gestured her out of the room and turned off the light, “People usually see me as just…” he locked the door and started back up the stairs, “Just a crazy fucker who thrives on unpredictability and violence. But,” he huffed out a laugh, “What they don’t realize is, you see, I keep fuckin’ meticulous records on all of them.” 

He paused for a moment so Cara asked, “Really?” They reached the end of the stairs and continued down the dark hallways.

“Yeah, really.” He stopped walking and turned to look at her as she stopped, too. He shoved both hands in his pockets before saying, “I never go into anything blind, you see. That never fuckin’ works out, does it? Any person I have done or might do business with is thoroughly vetted and, fuck, eventually I know everything from when they shit, to how they take their tea, to if they have a fuckin’ cat or not.”

Cara’s brows drew together and she asked, “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because, love,” He scratched at his beard, “If you’re gonna be in the game you gotta be willing to play it fuckin’ properly.”

The rest of the week and into the next went this way. They ate breakfast together, drove to the bakery together, and spent all day in Alfie’s office together. Cara went through many more damaged boxes before moving up the ladder a step. One afternoon, Alfie came up to her and stood in front of the typewriter for a few moments, Cara clicking away without noticing until he cleared his throat. 

She gasped, startled, she had just been reliving things again. “You scared me, I’m sorry-”

Alfie waved her apology away. “Listen, Ollie usually records meetings, but since he is away today I need you to take his place.” 

“Are you sure you want me to know whatever it is your meeting’s about?” Cara looked up at his face and watched an unrecognizable emotion flicker across it.

“Do you plan on telling your fuckin’ brother, or something?” He asked back, almost in a challenging way.

She didn’t answer for a moment, not wanting to sound hot off the handle. “I don’t plan on speaking to him at all, at the moment.” She glared up at Alfie, not mad at him but at the thought of Thomas. He seemed satisfied enough with her answer and gestured her to follow him as he walked out of his office.

He led her to a large room with a long wooden table situated in the middle. At one end sat another typewriter. She went over and sat behind it before Alfie sat at the middle of the table, facing the door. Then she realized she had no idea what to do.

“Erm, Mr Solomons?” Cara murmured. His head snapped to her, eyes wide. Did she really call him that? “Do I just… take notes or should I type everything word for word?”

His mouth hung open for a moment before he shook his head and said, “Just notes is fine, you’ll know what’s important or not.” They both turned to the door as footsteps and voices began to approach. “At the end both parties will review it and we’ll sign it. But til then keep your mouth shut tight- and no staring.” He nodded to her in encouragement just as the doors opened and a group of menacing men strutted in.

Cara’s mouth went dry as she recognized one of the men. He was Piers Collins, a close friend of Roland Bradley. She had sent several pages of information on him to Thomas after breaking into his home not so long ago. She had also danced with him at parties and talked with him at dinners. If he recognized her, Alfie’s deal with him would be shot to hell and Cara would be found by Roland and she’d have to leave Camden Town. But as his eyes passed over Cara he didn’t recognize her, only smirking slightly as he looked at Alfie.

“So you’ve got a girl typing for you now instead of Ollie?” Collins threw his head back as he laughed and sat down opposite Alfie, his men crowding behind him. “She’s in a right state, too, where the hell did you find her?” He sent her a leering smile.

Alfie’s face remained stony, he didn’t bother playing along with Collins. “Are we gonna talk fucking business or would you like to comment on my receptionist more?” His tone was as cold as his expression and it wiped away Collins’ smile in an instant. Cara swallowed her fear and tried to keep her mind in the present, taking detailed notes of everything said. A few times the voices grew louder than the clicking of her typewriter as the men bartered and argued about the guns Alfie was selling them for an admirably steep price. 

Collins said something that made Cara freeze again towards the end of the meeting. “You know,” he said, “You know full fucking well that Roland Bradley could buy into this deal ten times over, I’m just saying your price is ridiculous for what we’re buying!” He huffed and folded his arms.

How had she not noticed that he was only an errand boy for Roland? It should have been obvious. Collins didn’t have any real power in the Bradleys’ game, he just loved to pretend he did, he was just their errand boy that did the dirty work. She took a second to look up at Alfie, he didn’t know what Bradley meant to her, but he noticed that she had stopped typing and his eyes flicked to her and back before Collins noticed. She resumed taking notes to keep her hands from shaking.

Alfie sighed and leaned back in his chair. “I appreciate what you’re saying,” he pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, “but if you want to expand your business into London you’re gonna have to fucking pay for it, understand?” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table and gave Collins a withering look. The meeting was finished. Cara understood that the notes were meant to be a makeshift contract as she gave the papers to Alfie’s outstretched hand. He read through it first, signed it, then handed it to Collins who signed it. 

After Collins and his men left, Alfie and Cara went to the private storage room to file away the contract. After he unlocked the door and turned on the light he turned to her and asked, “What was that back there?”

Cara tried playing dumb, “What was what?” She didn’t meet his eyes.

“No, no, no,” He shook his finger at her, “I know you know that I know, fuckin’ spit it out already.”

Cara put the file away before sitting down on one of the boxes. She sighed as she put her head in her hands. “Roland Bradley is the one who hurt me.” As her quiet admittance was release into the air it became heavy and she very nearly started to cry. “You working with Collins must be why Thomas didn’t tell you.” She lifted her head and saw that, again, Alfie was watching her. “I’m sorry if I ruined your meeting because of that.”

His arms were crossed but his face was soft. “It ain’t your fault, though, is it?” He sighed and scratched his beard. “C’mon, let’s go back up. I need a fuckin’ drink.” 

Back in his office he went straight for his desk and poured two drinks. Then he gestured for Cara to sit across from him as he sat down. They sat in silence for a long enough time that the sun began to set. Cara wasn’t sure if he expected her to talk first so she stayed quiet.

Eventually Alfie broke the silence and said, “If you don’t mind,” He refilled his glass again, “I would like to know what happened.”

“I thought you thoroughly vetted anyone you go into business with.” She didn’t mean to sound that bitchy, but it came out like that.

“Well, fuck,” He chuckled. “I did say that, didn’t I?” Cara looked at him finally and saw that he wasn’t mad at her tone. “I know about the two girls that went missing, truly a fuckin’ shame, but I mean what happened to you, specifically.”

Cara drained her glass before speaking again. She spoke carefully, not wanting to sound anything other than logical and strong. “People say you’re fucking mad, but,” She looked up and saw the intent look on Alfie’s face, “You don’t hold a candle to Roland Bradley. He thinks he’s gonna rule the world someday. I know what I was getting into, and I know I got myself hurt because I played into his games. I fucking know all that.” She took a deep breath, wincing again.

“But after months of lying and sneaking, barely any sleep, being kept drunk as possible, no food when I was with him…” She almost trailed off but caught herself. “I realized I went too far. And for what? I’ll probably never fucking know. Thomas gets all the information he could possibly need and what do I get? The fucking shit beat out of me, and,” She choked on her breath as tears welled in her eyes. She couldn’t cry now, though. “I don’t even know how I got out of the cellar.”

Alfie sat back in his seat, causing Cara to look up at him. They had both been cast into darkness, the sun had gone down. He reached over and flicked on the lamp. His face was soft again. “Why don’t you ask him? Ask Tommy how?”

“I don’t want to talk to him.” Cara looked away, feeling stubborn.

“You’ve had time to… to go through everything haven’t you? I’ve seen the way your eyes glaze over.” He sighed and leaned forward again. “But the only thing that still eats away at you is not knowing how you got out, isn’t it? You want to know if Tommy fuckin’ knew.”

Cara looked back at it. She felt a rush of gratitude for Alfie at that moment. That he said it so she didn’t have to. “Yeah,” she said, “I want to know.”

Alfie picked up the phone and handed it to her. She took it and connected to the Shelby Company offices, knowing someone had to be staying late.

“Michael Gray speaking.” Cara was surprised to hear his of all voices.

“Oh! Hello, Michael,” She said, “It’s Cara. How are you?”

“Cara fucking Shelby, finally making contact, eh?” She heard the smile in his voice. “I’m guessing you called for Tommy?”

“Who says I didn’t call for my favourite cousin?” He laughed in response. “I did though. Is he still in?”

“He should be, let me check.” The phone was set down with a clunk and she heard his footsteps fade away. A few minutes later the footsteps came back but the voice was different.

“Hello?” It was Thomas. Cara knew he was quiet and withdrawn- having dealt with his moods all her life.

She looked up at Alfie, who nodded to her. She took a deep breath and said, “I need to know how I got out.”

The line went quiet for a minute, only Thomas’ breathing could be heard. He lit a cigarette and took a drag before saying, “I had someone on his house staff since the second week of the job.”

Cara’s voice caught in her throat. “So you knew the whole time?”

“He was suspicious of you for months. But I didn’t think he would go through with it.”

“You didn’t think he would go through with trying to kill me?” The venom in her voice surprised her. “Un-fucking-believeable!” Her shout surprised them both.

“Cara, listen-” Thomas tried to keep her on the line but she didn’t listen and hung up. 

She pushed her chair back and stood up, not really sure what she planned to do. She just knew she wanted to do something, anything. But Alfie stood up, too, and it made her think about how dangerous the anger coursing through her veins was. She began to pace.

“I want to fucking kill him!” She shouted, her hands balled into fists and blood rushed to her face. “Why is that every time he does something like this I’m surprised? Why do I act like every time is the last time?” Her voice grew louder and more shrill by the second. Alfie walked around his desk and stood in front of her, making her stop pacing.

Cara looked up at him and blood pounding in her ears ceased. His hand twitched, like he almost reached out to touch her. “Listen to me, Cara.” The sound of her name in his mouth sent shivers through her. “Before you do anything, you need to find out where exactly your anger is coming from-”

“Why does that even matter?!” She huffed.

“Just, fuckin’ listen to me,” He sighed, “You aren’t just angry with Tommy. Where else is coming from, love?”

Cara’s heart slowed down and she thought on Alfie’s words. “I’m angry with Roland Bradley.”

“And?”

“Me.” She looked down at the floor. “I’m angry that I was weak.”

“You aren’t weak, Cara.” He took a half step closer to her. “What would make you feel better?” His question made her look up at him again. His face wasn’t soft like his voice, his eyes were blazing and full of fire.

Her heart thundered in her chest again as she said, “I want to kill Roland Bradley.” She didn’t surprise herself by saying this. “I want to fucking kill him.”


	5. part five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cara Shelby has been caught in one of Tommy’s, her brother’s, schemes once again. But this time his plans lead her down a far more dangerous path than she was anticipating. A far lonelier path, so she thinks. Now it’s her time to live up to her name- discover what it means to be human.

The next few weeks were spent in comfortable monotony. Cara wanted to go after Bradley the night she confessed to Aflie. But he told her to wait. He said, “If you go in unprepared you will come out un fuckin’ satisfied. You need to heal, you need to plan, and you need to forget about how doing this now will sabotage Tommy. Because if you sabotage him, you fuck everyone else involved.” Cara didn’t even want to argue with him. She still isn’t sure how he knew about the whole sabotaging Thomas thing, because that definitely crossed her mind.

Cara ended up spending a lot of time with Alfie. She noticed he was getting over his nervousness of her. He began to loosen up and act more how she heard he was. Flying off the handle more frequently and yelling and cursing with abandon any time it was called for. Sometimes it was hard to keep a straight face because sometimes he really didn’t scare her at all. There was so far only one exception to this; he had sent her out to get lunch from a nearby market and when she came back one of his workers made a pass at her.

It was her first time walking the halls of the bakery alone, save for when she left less than an hour ago. Even though it had been pelting rain she swung the bag in her hand, feeling lighter than she had in weeks. The pep in her step must have been what caught the attention of the man who reached out and grabbed her arm.

His breath was hot in her ear as he jerked her into him and said, “Got anything in that bag for me, sweetheart?” His other hand groped at her for a few seconds before she came to her senses and pulled out of his grip.

She pulled back her fist and shouted, “Fuck you!” then let it fly straight into his nose. The sickening crunch and his yelp made her grin and he fell to the floor, clutching his face. The commotion brought several men from out of doors and hallways to investigate, including Alfie. As he walked towards her Ollie came up behind her and asked, “Are you okay, Cara?” He sounded alarmed but impressed.

Before she could reply Alfie came up and looked at the scene before him in shock. “What the bloody fuck is going on here?” His voice was raised but there wasn’t any need, the room was silent. “Fuckin’ hell!”

“I’m sorry, Mr Solomons,” Cara was trying not to laugh, she couldn’t believe she just did that. “He thought he could touch me without asking, I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.”

“Well, fuck then,” He reached down and pulled the man up to his feet by his shirt collar and dragged him to his office. “Seems like we need to have a little chat then, don’t it?” Cara and Ollie followed, shutting the door behind them

Alfie made sure the whole building could hear him as he lay into the man. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” He stood only inches away from the man’s face, glaring down at him. “What do you think gives you the fucking right to mess about? On the clock, no less? I fuckin’ pay you to come in on time, do your fucking job, and leave when I fuckin’ tell you!” The man was still holding his broken and bleeding nose and his eyes held fear. “Then you come in and pull this absolute bull fucking shit and I’m just in the other fuckin’ room! You are a fucking imbecile!” Alfie stepped back and surveyed the poor man’s state before saying, “You’re gonna leave as soon as you wake up, fuckin’ scum,” Then he drew back his own fist and backhanded the man, knocking him out cold.

Cara stood and watched as Ollie opened the door for Alfie as he picked up the man’s arms and drag him out. He let him flop down against the wall across from the door and shouted again, for all the nearby workers to hear, “If I catch any one of you fuckin’ pricks stepping out of line again on my watch, you might not fucking wake up.” He strolled back into the office and went behind his desk as if the whole ordeal didn’t happen.

“Ollie,” he said after clearing his throat, “I need you to deliver some packages for me, they’ll be down on the private dock.” He shuffled his papers and handed Ollie an envelope. “This goes with them, too.”

Ollie took the envelope and walked out with only a nod of his head. Cara was still stunned and hadn’t moved. She truly understood now why people were afraid of him. Alfie looked up and caught her eye. She said, “I suppose I should thank you?” It wasn’t mean to sound like a question, but it still came out that way.

“Why?” His eyebrows scrunched together and his head tilted slightly, “You had it all fuckin’ fine, didn’t you?” He gestured for her to sit across from him and she did. “I just thought, well shit, I should really set an example, right?”

“Well thank you, anyway,” She laughed finally and looked down at the bruise already forming on her knuckles. “I don’t think I could put a man to sleep with one fucking punch.” The admiration in her eyes stroked Alfie’s ego despite his effort to keep it down.

“It’s all in where your fist lands, really,” He huffed out a laugh. “Practice is always good, too.”

As the weather became colder and wetter over the next few days Cara and Alfie stayed later at the bakery, well into the early hours of morning. Ollie still hadn’t returned from delivering the package and the bakery workers had since completely ignored Cara to the point of turning away as she walked by. Only when she asked specific questions when inspecting shipments, orders, and equipment did they acknowledge her at all. They never made eye contact though.

It was one of these late nights when both of them were shocked out of their routine. During a particularly fierce storm Thomas and John arrived. Cara had been sorting files in the private store room when a bakery worker came running down the stairs in a huff. He stopped with a jolt at the threshold and coughed.

Cara set down what she was doing and turned to face him, “Yes?” She asked.

“Sorry to disturb you, ma’am,” He really looked it, too. “But your brothers are here to see you.”

Cara stood quickly and didn’t say a word as she followed him back up to Alfie’s office. All the way there her mind was reeling… Which of her brothers? What were they here for? How did she plan to act when she saw them? Far too quickly she found herself outside the office door, fingers on the handle. She swung it open and felt all her emotions float away, somewhere she couldn’t reach them.

Thomas and John sat in the two chairs in front of Alfie’s desk, their backs turned away from her. Alfie looked up as she stepped in, his face neutral and stony. She copied his lead and rolled her shoulders back to stand taller. They didn’t make her nervous, she didn’t even know if they were actually here to see her. A moment after Alfie looked up and the two turned their heads to look at her. She expected to feel something when she looked at their faces in turn, but she still didn’t feel anything.

“Ah, Cara,” Alfie said, waving her closer, “These two fine gentlemen,” his tone laced with sarcasm, “have requested a moment of your time.” He looked up at her through his lashes, waiting for her to burst.

“Cara,” John’s voice was quiet and as she looked at him she saw his eyes were almost pleading. “We wanted to check up on you…” His voice trailed off as her jaw clenched.

Tommy had lit a cigarette as John spoke, clouding his face in smoke. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay.” Tommy looked up into her eyes after he said this and anger flooded her, finally.

She didn’t feel in control of her body as she raised her arm and slapped his face, it sounded harsh in the quiet, heavy room. Neither Alfie or John flinched but both of them looked at Tommy, expecting him to lash out but he didn’t. He merely turned his head back to look at her again, his cheek beginning to turn red.

The two pairs of blue eyes met and her anger dissipated. Disappointment replaced it. “You have no right to worry about me.” Cara said. “Next time you can call so I have the opportunity to ignore it.” She then spun on her heel and stalked out, rushing down a flight of stairs and turning down a dark hallway.

After she sank down against the wall she realized someone had followed her. It was John, she wasn’t mad but she had hoped it was someone else. He sat down opposite her. “I don’t know what to say, Cara,” He said, “I’m just really fucking sorry.” Sitting there on the floor together made her almost nostalgic for when they were kids.

“I know, John.” She reached out and took his hand. “Thank you for saying it.”

He let go of her hand after a few moments and lit a cigarette, taking a drag before holding it out to her. “Normally I wouldn’t offer, I know you don’t smoke much, but…”

She accepted the offer and brought it to her lips, the burn in her throat and lungs forced her back into reality. “If,” she started, “and only if, Thomas apologizes,” she took another drag and handed it back to John, “out loud and to my face, if he means it…” the smoke escaped her mouth as she sighed. “I might actually come home sometimes after your work is finished.” They sat in silence for a minute before he left, patting her shoulder as he turned the corner.

As Cara and John were talking, so were Thomas and Alfie. Rather Alfie was lecturing Thomas. 

“Your fuckin’ family lives and bleeds for you,” His voice was a harsh murmur and he was leaned forward over the desk. “Your men fuckin’ die for you, Tommy. And yet you, a husband and fuckin’ father, do this to your own flesh and blood still.” Thomas didn’t seem indicated to respond so Alfie pressed forward. “There was absolutely no fucking need to keep that from her-”

“She might not have done it if I told her.” Thomas interrupted.

Alfie stared hard at him for a second, then growled, “You are fucking brainless if you really believe that. Shit,” He shook his head and looked at the open door Cara had disappeared through moments ago. “You’ve no fuckin’ clue about anything, Tommy, no fucking clue.”

After John and Thomas left, Alfie went to find Cara. She was still sitting in the same spot, legs curled up and head in her arms. She didn’t look up as his footsteps approached, she knew it was him just by the sound. He leaned down and touched her arm, “C’mon now,” He said, “get up.” They walked back together and sat in the chairs that were just occupied by her brothers. Before Alfie sat down he had grabbed two glasses and a bottle of whiskey.

He filled their glasses and drained his before saying, “Now, Cara,” she drained her glass too and he refilled them before continuing, “We must talk business, now.”

“Really?”

“Really.” He scratched his beard and sighed. “Tommy didn’t come just to see you-”

“Fucking figures.”

“He came to tell me that their work is almost done,” Cara looked up at him in surprise, “When it is, as soon as it is, you’ve got to tell him that you want Bradley.” Cara opened her mouth to retort, but Alfie spoke again before she could. “You shouldn’t have to fuckin’ tell him, I know… but Tommy’ll kill him before you can get the chance.”

Silence stretched on as Cara thought on what he said. Her mind conjured images of her time with Bradley and all of the times she could have acted differently. How so many times she could have gotten out sooner, but didn’t just for the benefit of Thomas… of her family. She thought of all the ways she could hurt Bradley. Not just physically, but how ruining him socially would hurt as much if not more. She tried to imagine how it would feel to watch the life leave his eyes but it escaped her. Cara had killed men before, sure, but none had done what Bradley did. None had slowly suffocated her freedom and agency like he did.

Alfie watched her eyes flash as these thoughts came and went. He knew them all by heart. Although he wasn’t too much older than her, he felt very ancient in that moment, knowing the process of loss to power a hundred times over. He knew deep in his core that he would do anything to help Cara get revenge.

Before he had the chance to tell her this she spoke, finally breaking the silence, “Can we go home now?” She didn’t realize how much her question affected him. How when she said the word ‘home’ he felt something akin to tenderness for her.

When they did arrive home, it began pouring rain. As they dashed to the porch and got inside they both smiled at how soaking wet they were. Cara started towards her room, yawning and ready for sleep. Alfie watched her walk away for a moment before calling, “Wait,” his voice was barely above a whisper but she heard him and stopped. She looked over her shoulder, not quite sure if she actually heard him say something or not. The look on his face told her that he did in fact speak so she turned to face him.

“Something wrong?” Her voice was quiet, too.

Alfie stepped forward and stopped in front of her, they looked at each other before he said, “He deserves to have done what he did to you a hundred fucking times over, and you deserve the chance to do it.” He eyes had a hard, blazing look in them. “And I will do everything I can to help you achieve that.”

Cara’s eyes started to well with tears, but she sniffed them away. “Thank you, Alfie.” She then stood on her toes and kissed his cheek before walking away to bed. He stood there for a long time before going upstairs to bed himself.


	6. part six

The next morning neither Cara or Alfie acknowledged the night before. They sat in relatively comfortable silence as they sipped their coffees and munched their toast while watching the sun rise through the window on the sitting room sofa, both of them having woken up much earlier than usual because neither could sleep. Cara knew Alfie was going to speak before he did and looked over at him.

“Cara,” The way he said her name made her smile a little. “How do you want to go about this?” He looked at her after he asked this, eyes squinting in the bleak sunlight.

“Go about what?”

“Bradley.” He sat up a little straighter and said, “You must have something on your mind, no?”

Cara had of course thought about it. She was sure that if she was to do it right, getting some sort of justice for the two missing women had to be part of the plan. She wasn’t sure, however, where to even begin to do that. “I want everyone to know what he did to the other women. I don’t want them to be forgotten anymore.” She looked down at the steaming cup she held in her lap. “I don’t know where to start, though.”

“Well…” Anyone else might try to put what Alfie said next delicately, but he wasn’t a man to beat around the bush, “We can pretty much assume they’re dead, yeah, so start with that.” He turned his head to catch her reaction, which was minimal, “You fuckin’ know him, yeah? Where would he bury them?”

Cara sipped her coffee and tried to think of something, but came up empty. “I dunno… he’s attached to people, and things,” she said quietly, “not places.”

Alfie inched closer to her and sat forward to set his cup on the table. “Try… try to think of the time when he was the most dangerous.” He felt bad asking her to do so, “When he might have felt most powerful.”

Cara didn’t pause to think this time, “The cellar.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

He copied her and lowered his voice, “To get what you want, you’re gonna need to relive that, love,” his hand unconsciously moved closer to her as he leaned on it, “I’m sorry.”

She closed her eyes and sighed, sending herself back to that night. Back to when she was Lucy Hall and Roland Bradley was her target. “Okay…”

“Tell me what you see.”

Cara remembered when she had first woken up after Bradley drugged her in the cafe. She was tied to a chair in a large cellar. It must have been several hours, because her hands and feet were numb from the rope. “He wasn’t there when I woke up,” she looked around for an escape, taking in her surroundings. “There was a candle lit,” she whispered, “I could see it was really big, and there were shelves around the whole room with…with wine bottles and canned food.” She struggled at the ropes, trying to free her feet at least, as her hands were behind her back. Looking around for another source of light, maybe a window, “There aren’t any windows and I couldn’t see the door where he came in and out of.” Cara remembered the sudden rush of hopelessness and fear.

“Go on…” Alfie pressed.

Memories passed behind her eyes in a blur, like a sped up film. When he screamed in her face words she couldn’t comprehend, her face already bloody and her ears ringing. When he had hit her hard enough that the chair tipped over. When she pressed her face to the floor, gasping for air, as he kicked her.

“The floor.” She said, sitting up suddenly. “Wooden floor boards,” She opened her eyes and looked at Alfie. “The cellar isn’t the lowest room in the house, I saw through the cracks after he,” she paused and swallowed the lump in her throat, “after he stabbed me and I started bleeding out.”

Alfie turned his face away from her, running a hand through his hair. “That’s where we start, then, isn’t it?” His voice was strained and more gruff than usual. “You need to gain access to his house.”

Cara stood up abruptly, setting her cup on the table next to his. “I need to call Tom-” she stopped herself, not him. “Polly, I’ll call Polly.” She strode over to the phone and connected to Polly’s house.

As soon as she was connected she spit out, “Aunt Polly? It’s Cara.”

“No, ma’am,” it was one of her housekeepers, most likely. “I’ll fetch her for you, just a moment.” 

Cara heard the footsteps fade as she sat on the bench. She looked over at Alfie and frowned, he was staring into the fire, his brow furrowed and eyes brooding. The footsteps came back and she returned her attention to the phone.

“Hello? Cara?” Polly’s voice greeted her with a surprising amount of enthusiasm. Usually she felt herself distanced from feelings such as that, but, Cara supposed it really had been a while since they talked. 

“Yes, it’s me,” Cara smiled, hoping Polly could hear that she wasn’t angry with her. “I’m calling because I need-”

“No, no!” Polly interrupted. “Don’t ask me for favours yet,” Cara caught the teasing in her voice. “Tell me how you’ve been, first.”

“Oh,” She stumbled for a moment, “I dunno, what do you want to know?”

“Well,” Polly sighed, “Most of us over here have been wondering how it is living with Solomons, of course…” She paused and held in her laughter, “Esmee wonders if you’ve fucked him yet-”

A loud laugh burst out of Cara, startling Alfie out of his thoughts. They caught eyes and she saw a smile beneath his beard, then he picked up their cups and plates and carried them in to the kitchen. She supposed he meant to give her some privacy. “No!” She laughed again in disbelief. “I haven’t done anything like that!” 

“Oh, sure,” Polly laughed, too. “I bet you haven’t thought about it either, right?”

“Yes! I mean no- no I mean yes you’re right. I haven’t thought about it…” Cara stumbled again, Polly always got the best of her. “Nevermind that,” She said over Polly’s laughter. “It’s fine, all fine.” She rolled her eyes at her pathetic response and whispered ‘fuck’ under her breath.

“Cara fucking Shelby,” Polly pretended to ignore her whispered confession. “Always a little shy about these things. You know, older men are always that much better at everything…” She trailed off, only slightly teasing now.

Their conversation paused as Cara shifted in her seat, thoughts trailing off elsewhere. She was brought back to the present as noises came from the kitchen. She shook her head and addressed Polly again, “Now for my favour, if you’re done fucking with me.”

“Yes, I’m done,” Polly said. “Spit it out, girl.”

Cara took a deep breath, “I need you to find me a chance to break into Roland Bradley’s house.” Alfie walked back in and sat in an armchair after she said this, turning to look at her.

Polly was silent for a minute. Cara was almost afraid she would hang up without saying anything at all, but her patience was rewarded. “I’ll see what I can do,” Polly murmured. “But no promises. Tommy’ll gonna go fucking crazy if he hears of this…”

“And I need you to tell me when he’s finished,” Cara said. “He doesn’t deserve to kill Bradley, I do.”

“That’s my girl,” Polly’s voice was grim, “A fucking Shelby, you are.”

Cara had to wait six excruciatingly long days and even longer nights. All day she lost her patience, all night she lay awake thinking of all the ways things could happen. Then she woke the next morning and lost her patience again. The sixth night she was sat up in bed looking out the window at the night sky, when the phone rang shrilly from down the hall. She bolted out of bed and ran to it, out of breath as she answered, “Yes? Hello?”

“It’s me,” Polly whispered. She was calling from the offices. “I didn’t want to call so late but I figured it would be best…”

“Late? What time is it anyway?” Cara felt like only an hour, if that, had passed since she went to bed.

“Half past three, Cara!” Polly said in a harsh whisper, “Now listen carefully, I’m in Tommy’s office and I don’t want to get caught-”

“Yes, yes,” Cara held her breath with nervousness. “Go on-”

“Garrick Bradley is having dinner with his family in three days,” She shuffled a few papers and continued, “and Roland will be there… Then that same night there will be a retirement party at his home, and he’ll announce Roland is taking over his position.”

Polly waited as Cara turned over this information in her tired brain. “And when will Thomas be done?” She asked.

“Tomorrow morning,” Polly replied. “In just a few more hours. You need to call him before he does anything, he should be home.”

“Thank you, Aunt Polly.” Cara hoped she sounded as sincere as she felt.

“Be smart, girl.” And she hung up.

Cara stood there staring at the phone for a second before she heard a creak from up the stairs. She whipped around, startled. It was Alfie, looking very soft in his rumpled sleep clothes. He came down to join her and as he stopped in front of her he asked, “So what’s the word?”

“Three days and his house is empty.”

“Well,” he grunted, “not completely empty. We’ve his housekeepers to worry about, don’t we?”

Cara looked up at him through her lashes. When he said ‘we’ it sent a small thrill through her. “Yes,” she said, “of course.”

Alfie gave her a quizzical look, but didn’t ask her what he really wanted to. “What about Tommy?”

She reached for the phone again and said, “If I don’t call him now he’ll kill Bradley by morning.” She turned back to the phone and Alfie sat on the bench with a sigh.

The phone rang several times before Thomas answered. His voice was caked with sleep as he groaned, “Who the fuck is calling me at home at this ungodly fucking hour?”

Cara bit her lip and thought about hanging up right then. But she looked at Alfie, who nodded to her, and found her voice. “It’s Cara,” she whispered.

Thomas was silent in disbelief. “Tommy…” his heart skipped, “Don’t kill him.” Her voice seemed uncharacteristically small to him. He always appreciated how quiet she was, but when she said something it was always with conviction and strength. “Please, let me.” She said, “Don’t take this from me.”

He had been holding his breath. “Okay,” he said. “Fuck,” he released a shuddering sigh. “I won’t fucking kill him.”

When Thomas rejoined Grace in bed she was awake and waiting to hear who had called. The worn look on his face suggested she wait until he spoke first. He reached over to the bedside table and lit a cigarette, smoking nearly half of it before saying, “Cara called.”

Grace’s eyes widened in surprise. She had been burdened with guilt ever since she found out what happened. Not that she would ever say it out loud, but she felt it was her fault somewhat. “What’s going on, Tommy, is she okay?” Grace asked.

“Yeah,” Thomas sighed, finishing his cigarette and setting it in the ashtray. “She’s gonna kill Bradley.” He ignored Grace’s quick inhale and laid back into the pillows. She followed his lead but rested her head on his shoulder and her arm on his chest. 

“She’ll be okay,” She whispered, tilting her face up and kissing his jawline. In that quiet moment Thomas believed her.

After Cara hung up the phone she looked up at Alfie as he stood from the bench. His face was cast in shadow but his eyes glittered like jewels. His jaw was set and the silence between them was thick and heavy for a few seconds before he spoke, “I’ve some important business to take care of first,” he took a half step closer to her. “But morning next we’ll make our way to Birmingham.”

“You still want to help me, then?” Cara tried to sound light and teasing, but Alfie registered the uncertainty in her voice.

“I fuckin’ promised, didn’t I?” He smiled a half smile and shook his head.

Cara reached across the little space between them and took his hand in hers. She held it for a moment before saying, “I want you to know that I’m truly grateful for everything you’ve done, even though you just owed a favor to Tommy-”

He cut across her, “I ain’t doing this for Tommy.”

Cara blinked in shock, forgetting she was still holding his hand. “Really?” she whispered.

“Yeah,” he whispered back. “Really.”

They stood there for a minute longer, both feeling on the verge of making a move. But a sudden clap of thunder jerked them each out of their reveries and they parted ways.

It was far past sunset when they returned home from the bakery the following day. Alfie had finalized his deal with Piers Collins. The foolish man paid for the guns and expected them to be delivered next week, but they would of course never arrive. Alfie’s men would be ambushed and the whole shipment stolen. This would give the Shelby Company the opportunity to step in and prove their loyalty. Alfie was originally hesitant to agree, but the argument was he would make the profit while losing nothing and the Bradley’s and their associates would cease their movement into London. He couldn’t say no to that.

Cara, however, spent the whole day high on her continuous adrenaline rush. She wasn’t yet nervous about what was to come, in fact she was brimming with confidence and excitement. She had stopped feeling guilty about her desire for revenge and started yearning for the moment when she would bring it into reality. She did feel a prickle of anxiety though when she sat on the sofa, nursing the drink Alfie handed to her.

He was what caused it as he sat down across from her, eyes boring into her from over the top of his own glass. She raised her eyebrow in question, waiting for him to say what he so obviously wanted to. “Fuck,” he grunted, rolling his eyes. “Don’t fuckin’ look at me like that…” he trailed off as she laughed.

“Like what?” She took another drink without taking her eyes off him.

“Never you fuckin’ mind,” He stood up and walked over to stoke the fire and scratched his beard before turning to look at her again. “We’ll leave early tomorrow morning, you’d better get to sleep.”

“Right.” Cara drained her glass and stood up. She hesitated there, two feet away from him. Her thoughts on how many ways she wanted him rushed at her and it was frightening. It was impossible he wanted her, too, wasn’t it? So she handed him the glass and walked away without another word.

Alfie didn’t move from his spot in front of the fire for some time. He had just watched her face change from playful to uncertain in only a second and it worried him. He had been wrestling with his own feelings for some time and to entertain the notion she might be doing the same sent his mind reeling. How could he even begin to comprehend that? He’s a Jewish gangster, and she’s… a Shelby. No, she’s woman who has been living dangerously for long enough that that didn’t matter one bit. As he made his way upstairs he heard her humming to herself in the bathroom and he smiled.


	7. part seven

The beginning of the journey to Birmingham was awkward after the very tense moment between Cara and Alfie the previous night. The first hour or so they sat in a weird silence, unsure how to behave. It wasn’t until Cara let out a small gasp of delight as the car passed a pasture of horses. Alfie looked over to see her turned fully in the seat to watch them, completely entranced. Cara whipped her head around as she heard his quiet chuckle.

“Don’t laugh at me!” She tried not to smile. “I just can’t help myself, they’re so beautiful…” She returned her gaze to the stretch of green and sighed.

“Yeah, they sure are,” Alfie replied, though he wasn’t really looking at the horses. “Shall we stop and say hello?”

Cara whipped her head around again, this time sporting a childlike grin on her face. “Really?”

“Really.” Alfie pulled over on the road shoulder turned off the car. Cara shot out of the car and ran the ten yards to the fence, Alfie trailing behind her. When he caught up he saw she’d already pulled a handful of grass from their side of the fence and was trying to entice a nearby speckled grey creature closer.

Cara was still smiling as she crushed the grass in her fingers and waved her hand over the fence. The horse came closer and Cara cooed, “Oh look! She’s so big round the middle, she must be a brood mare…” She began to stretch her neck out to sniff Cara’s hand and after a second the gap between them closed as the horse stepped up to the fence and ate the grass from her flat palm. The mare then leaned her neck over the fence and Cara began to blow softly onto her muzzle, looking up into her large brown eyes. 

“What are you doing that for?” Alfie asked.

“It’s how they greet each other,” Cara said. She moved her hand down the horse’s neck to massage her withers, her fur starting to turn fuzzy as her winter coat grew in. “Like how us humans shake hands.”

Alfie grunted in response and bent down to pull another handful of grass. As he held it out for the mare to eat, he pet her face with his other hand. He felt eyes on him and turned to see Cara giving him a warm look. “What?” he asked. 

Cara just shook her head and said, “Nothing,” she gave the horse one last pat and stepped back, wiping her hands on the sides of her coat. “We’d better get going.” Then she addressed the horse, “Goodbye, pretty lady!”

“Right,” Alfie followed her lead and they made their way back to the car. “Would you like to drive for a bit?”

She stopped short and stared at him in surprise. “Really?” she said, “Are you fucking with me?” He ignored her and kept walking, settling in the passenger’s side. Cara followed and stared into the driver’s window still shocked. She rested her hand on the handle and hesitated.

“Fuckin’ get in, would you?” Alfie called from inside. “Ain’t got all day, love.”

Cara drove almost two hours before reaching the outskirts of Birmingham. They spent some of this time in easy conversation, trading stories of their past and varied criminal endeavours. Part of this conversation stood out in particular to each of them. Alfie had leaned his head back on the seat and looked over at her for a moment before asking, “You ever killed a man before?”

“No,” Cara answered honestly. “I’ve shot a man, cut a man, beat a man… but never killed one.” She didn’t feel judged as she said this. Not for any reason. “I know you have.” She took her eyes off the road for a second to look into his. “Do you remember your first time?”

Alfie was quiet for a moment, lost in thought. “Well,” he started, “I suppose it must’ve been for an honourable fuckin’ reason, yeah?” He scratched his beard and continued, “Because I don’t rightly remember the context… I do however remember the feeling after the act.”

“What was it?” Cara asked, in almost a whisper.

“You get this rush of power, yeah, watching someone’s life leave their eyes,” he turned and stared at her profile, “knowing you did that, you fuckin’ did that…” He thought she might have something to say but continued as her brow furrowed, knowing she had nothing but silence for him, “but then you don’t feel nothin’, you see, if it was for a good reason… It becomes normal and you forget it meant anything to you in the first place.”

Cara bit her lip and turned what he said over in her brain like some kind of holy artifact. One of her worst fears, second only to not pulling the whole ordeal off, was regretting she’d ever done it at all. Alfie could sense her doubt, it was now emanating off of her. Part of him was ready to give her words of reassurance, but being silent felt like the best course. He didn’t want her to feel coddled.

“You know,” she said in a small voice, “I hope it feels good… I would hate to feel any kind of remorse, that would be such a waste.”

Alfie tried to hide his grin, but Cara heard his soft exhale and looked at him. For a split second he was afraid she would be mad at him, but she smiled back.

Reaching the outskirts they drove up on a little cafe and stopped for a break, to gather themselves before arriving at Polly’s house. The bells chimed overhead as they entered and it was nearly empty. Alfie suggested a tiny table in a far corner and after eating they began to discuss what was to come next.

“So,” Alfie murmured and leaned forward on his elbows, his multiple rings glowing dully in the light overhead. “After we find the bodies, where are we doing with them?” They had gone over this in the car already, but he saw Cara’s anxiety growing behind her eyes and in the tightness of her shoulders and asked again to remind her that everything would go as planned.

“I would so love to cart them over to the party,” her voice was laced with sarcasm, “but that would be very disrespectful…” She rubbed at her tired eyes and sighed. “So we’ll lay them out upstairs and send his letter.”

“And?” He prompted.

“And the paper,” she continued, “we’ll send a copy to them, too, so everything will be on full display.”

Alfie paid for the food and lead her out back to the car after a few minutes of silence. He suggested he drive and she agreed, having started to feel a little queasy. Not because of being only hours away from committing murder, but because she was soon going to disturb the resting place of two lost souls. Something that could spell disaster in ways beyond getting arrested… but she hoped they would understand and let her do what needed to be done.

Both Alfie and Cara were surprised to find there were two more people other than Polly inside as they arrived to her house at sunset. Cara’s stomach dropped and she dreaded who would be there. The possibility that her plan could be criticized and changed put her on the defense. This was going to go her way or not at all, and with Alfie by her side she knew she’d find the strength to put her foot down.

They were showed into the sitting room and saw it wasn’t as many people as expected. Only Polly, Finn, and Isaiah were there. Polly was smoking a cigarette in front of the fire and the two boys were sitting nearby, talking in low tones. All three of their heads looked up as Cara and Alfie entered. Finn immediately stood and walked over, pulling Cara into a tight hug.

“Where the hell have you been?” He laughed and pulled back. “Haven’t seen you in forever-”

“I know, I know,” Cara took his face in her hands and squeezed his cheeks, “Nevermind that, look at you! You’ve gotten so tall-” She kissed his forehead and let him lead her over to Polly and Isaiah. Reaching her hand out patted Isaiah’s head she said, “Shit, you too. How are you, love? And your dad?”

“Fine, both fine.” He said, smiling up at her.

Polly had since flicked her cigarette into the fire and went over to examine Cara. She put a hand on her cheek and said, “You look much better than when I saw you last,” She looked behind Cara and addressed Alfie, “Thanks to you, I suppose, Mr Solomons.”

Alfie shook his head and grumbled, “No, not me. She did all the work.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.” She gave Cara one of her all-knowing looks, quirked eyebrow, smirk, and all. “Now let’s hear it then, your plan.”

They all sat back down and Cara cleared her throat. “So the party is tonight, that’s when we,” She gestured to herself and Alfie, who had sat next to her on the sofa, “will break into Roland’s house. When he comes home the bodies will have been dug up and he’ll sign two letters confessing to his crimes.” She took a deep breath and glanced quickly at Alfie. “Then he will hang himself.” 

“But,” Alfie interjected, “There are two holes in this fuckin’ plan that need filling,” he looked to the boys, “First is the letters… which you two will be delivering.”

“Yes,” said Cara, “One will be delivered to the paper and one to the police… but the timing needs to be right so the paper gets one first.”

“The second is any household staff needs to be out of the way before we get there.” Alfie turned his gaze to Polly, “Do you have a man still in the house?”

Polly’s pause didn’t go totally unnoticed, but no one mentioned it. “Yes.” A small part of her wanted to tell Cara that Thomas lied, most of the staff were employed by the Blinders, but didn’t have the heart to. She addressed the boys, “You two can go inform our man and he’ll take care of it, run along now.”

Finn and Isaiah made their way out with a wave and Polly directed her next question to Cara, “Everything else fixed and ready?” Cara nodded in response. “Well,” said Polly, “I’ve some business of my own to take care of,” she stood and touched Cara’s shoulder as she strutted past, “you two make yourselves at home.” 

After the door closed behind her Alfie made his way to her drink cabinet and began to fix himself a glass. Cara didn’t join him and instead made her way to the bathroom to freshen up. She had avoided looking in mirrors but as she stood in front of one now she was pleasantly surprised. The bruising around her eyes and jaw were now a faint greenish-yellow and the cuts were now pink lines. Shrugging off her coat she saw that her wrists were clean of rope burn and lifting her dress her ribs still twinged but the dark blue and purple mottled bruises were fading, too. Leaning closer to the mirror she fluffed her honey brown hair, it had grown few inches and was starting to brush the tops of her shoulders. Then she stepped back and admired how nicely her curves had come back, finally she felt like the old Cara.

A sharp knock on the door broke her out of her reverie. “Cara?” It was Alfie, “the boys are back.” His footsteps faded away and she opened the door to follow him.

Finn and Isaiah were waiting for her with Alfie in the sitting room, as she joined them she noticed the sky was pitch black. “He’s already been at the party for an hour,” Finn said, “Are we going now?”

“Yes,” said Cara, “It’s time.”

Walking up the steps like they owned the place sent a thrill through Cara. Finn and Isaiah were waiting in the car and Alfie was half step behind her, carrying the tools over his shoulder. The door, left unlocked, swung open and she stiffened. The air smelled like him and it made her gag. They walked through the menacingly bright house, every lamp passed was like a spotlight saying ‘look at us! we’re right here!’. Reaching the basement door was a relief and the darkness waiting at the bottom of the long flight of stairs meant safety from prying eyes.

Cara hesitated at the top step so Alfie nudged her over and went first, flicking on the light halfway down. As she followed close behind she had a sudden urge to reach out and grip the back of his coat but powered through. The light hung over the exact area she had been held captive. The chair was gone but there was a dark stain in the floorboards where it would have been. She didn’t stop and look like Alfie did and instead took a pick-axe from him and began prying up the wooden slats. He joined her and together they removed a wide section to reveal a crawlspace beneath.

They both stood there in shock, neither of them had really expected the sight of two decomposing bodies to be this horrible. The two women were reduced to skeletons, the bugs and maggots having eaten their flesh away long ago. Now only the ghost of their former refinement was visible, the silk dresses and jewels clinging to their bones.

Cara backed away in disgust and sadness. Never had she pitied two souls more; each woman living good and honest lives the best they could only to be swooned, captured, and eventually murdered by a man who believed he had the power to do what he pleased. It had been a while since Cara experienced such a strong feeling of hatred towards men.

“Let’s go back upstairs, now,” she whispered. “He’ll be home soon.”

Back upstairs they waited in the small parlour off the foyer, sitting side by side on a short sofa. They sat there for some time, each lost in their own thoughts, before Cara took Alfie’s hand and held it tightly. He didn’t look at her, now wasn’t the time to ask why.

Time passed quickly, it only felt like twenty minutes went by before heavy footsteps ascended the front stairs. Cara tensed and sat up, knowing that where they sat Roland wouldn’t see them unless she called out. As the key turned in the lock, she began salivate at the thought of his face when he saw her. He’s spent all evening having his ego stroked and given the attention and power he has desired since his childhood, when he became his uncle’s trophy. After such a magical night, to be presented with his worst failure would break him. She truly started to understand the intoxicating feeling of being the predator instead of prey.

He made it over the threshold and past the foyer before Cara stalked quietly behind him, the handle of her pick-axe heavy in her hand. He had one foot on the stairs when she said, “Turn around, Roland.” He spun so quickly that stumbled forward, shock and horror etched in his features. He had thought this whole time since Cara left that he had buried her after his drinking binge, so he never bothered to go back in the basement.

She lifted the pick over her shoulder and swung with all her strength, hitting his knees with the flat side of it. There was a sickening crunch and a scream erupted from his mouth as he crumpled to the floor. She lifted it again and hit the side of his face with a dull clang and he was knocked out cold.

Alfie came up behind her and snorted, “Well fuckin’ done, love.”


	8. part eight

Only a moment was spent looking at Bradley, the skin of his temple split open dripping blood and leg bent at an awkward angle. Cara picked up his wrists from behind and started dragging him down the hallway to the basement door. “Could you get a chair from the dining table?” She called back to Alfie. She didn’t look back to see if he heard, instead she roughly shoved Bradley’s dead weight down the stairs. If she weren’t feeling so tense the sound of his tumble down might have made her snicker.

Once down in the basement Cara took the length of rope used to tie her up not long ago and began to make a noose. Alfie had followed her down and set the chair at the edge of where the floorboards ended, beneath the light. He held the chair steady for her as she stepped up to knot the rope around the base of the light. As she made to get down she wobbled, Alfie quickly raised his hand to hold her waist and steadied the chair with the other. “Shit, okay there?” He looked up at her.

“Yeah, all good.” Cara gripped his arm as she stepped down, not breaking eye contact. A groan from Bradley caused them both to whip around, he was beginning to stir. Cara pulled three things out of her coat pocket as she made her way over to him, two envelopes containing each letter and a small knife. “Ah,” she murmured, “Look who’s awake...”

She grabbed a handful of his hair and forced his face up. “I didn’t hit you too hard did I, darling?” He was trying to focus his eyes but they were blurry. “You do remember me, don’t you?” 

Bradley let out a louder groan than before and gripped his knee. “Who are you... what have you done to me?” His words were slurred and jumbled. “You can’t be her, you can’t be Lucy-”

“I’m not, I never was.” Cara blurted over him. She pulled his arms in front of him and tied his wrists together with a smaller length of rope. Turning to Alfie she said, “I think I hit him too hard, he should be struggling more, don’t you think?”

Alfie walked over and peered down at him. “No, love... he’ll perk up soon.” He said, bending down and giving Bradley a sharp smack on the injured side of his face. “There we go, there he is-” He grunted and backed up as Bradley jerked awake fully, looking around wildly for an explanation. Cara and Alfie pulled him to a kneeling position and dragged him over to the chair. He was pushed into it so his back was to the crawlspace, he hadn’t even noticed it yet, and ankles tied to the legs of the chair.

“Who do you think you are, woman?” He spat in Cara’s face and his voice grew louder as he kept going on, “You think you can do this to me? Of all fucking people in Birmingham, you foolish little girl, you’ll never get away with this!” He finished with a huff, ready to continue shouting before Cara interjected.

“Before you shame the name Bradley for generations to come,” Her quiet voice startled him into silence, “I need you to sign these papers.” She waved them slightly in his face.

He was stunned, but not enough to keep him from speaking again, this time with such intense venom and hatred it might have scared Cara if she hadn’t felt so calm. “You fucking cunt! Get my name out of your wicked mouth, you godless creature, fucking heathen!” He spat at her again, though this time it earned him another smack across his bloody face. 

Her hand throbbed at the force of the impact but she ignored it and leaned down inches from him and murmured, “Every second you waste not signing these papers will be spent by me cutting you-”

“You don’t have the guts, whore-” His retort was cut off by his own curdled scream as Cara raised her knife and deepened his split temple, cutting down his cheek and neck. “I’ll never sign anything-” Another wound sliced from his other cheek up over his eye and brow.

His screams were music to Cara’s ears. After the hours she spent screaming in this basement... it was about time she returned the favour. This went on several more times, his refusal and subsequent cries of pain, before she stopped. He was dripping wet with blood all over his face, neck, and chest and he was close to passing out. He’d only lasted a little over an hour.

“Roland, wake up...” Cara slapped at him with the flat side of the blade and he stirred. “Sign these and I’ll consider letting you go.” He looked up with a flicker of hope in his eyes, she had forgotten how easily he could give in when the pressure was too high. Though he was slick and slippery by worming his way into powerful pockets, he was really a coward who lived riding better men’s coattails. He always wanted the easy way, no matter how low it took him.

“What are they even for?” If it had not been for his delirious state he would not have let himself sound so weak and childish.

“These are your confessions,” Cara knelt down and stared at him, completely without feeling. “For what you did to Edith and Virgina, how you killed them and buried their bodies beneath the floorboards here in the basement.”

Bradley choked out a dry sob and tried to look behind him, only glimpsing a small bit of the crawlspace. Part of her was disappointed that he was breaking so easily, especially after how hard she worked to find out the names of the missing women. Why did he get so much time yet she was going to get so little? He took a rattling breath and it brought her focus back. “You;re going to rot in hell for this...” He was struggling to breathe but it didn’t stop him, “God will see you punished, fucking whore-”

“God has no power over me.” She stood and turned to look at Alfie and spoke to him in a slightly louder voice, “Have you got a pen? I seem to have forgotten one.”

Alfie patted his pockets for a moment before producing one and handing it to her. He had been standing silently behind her the whole time, a reassuring presence. Never noticing the admiration in Alfie’s eyes, Cara returned her attention to Bradley. She thrust the pen in to his hands and held one of the envelopes taught across his knee. He held the pen in his shaking hands and came a hair’s breadth away from the paper before hesitating. His breath quickened and his whole body began to shake.

“I know how terrible this must be for you, Roland,” Cara murmured, looking up into his ugly, mangled face. “You had such a fantastic evening, you got what you wanted... all that attention and admiration from everyone there at the party. Your party.” He choked out another dry sob but didn’t speak. “I remember the things you told me,” Cara continued. “How you only had yourself for company as a boy,” she let go of one end of the envelope and touched his hand, “and when you were actually given any love it wasn’t the kind you wanted, was it?” He shook his head infinitesimally. She had always known how to manipulate him, the information was always there since she began. But she would question herself until the day she died, why let him do what he did if she had been in control the whole time?

“But your uncle,” she whispered, “he always loved you, didn’t he?” His eyes closed in surrender. “He finally told you tonight didn’t he? After all these years of him lording that over your head... he said it, for everyone to hear. He told the world he loves you and is proud of you because you finally lived up to his standards. He finally feels you are ready to take over for him, such an honour.” She lifted her hand from his and the motion caused him to look at her again. “Now here you are, at the mercy of a creature you could not subdue, the skeletons you’ve kept hidden for so long out in the open...” his eyes became glassy as she trailed off, anything he’d ever told her coming to the forefront of her brain- ready to be used as ammunition against his fragile mind.

“Do you realize the jeopardy you’ve put him in? The man you wish you could call father?” Cara didn’t need her fists or a knife or a gun to hurt this monster. She only needed to break his spirit and he would do the rest for her, because she didn’t want just the satisfaction of his death but him being so broken that he actually wanted it, too. “Everything he sees you as is a lie, you lied to him, Roland,” she moved closer to his face and spoke barely above a whisper, “he sees you as the son he never had and you betrayed him by committing sin after sin after sin.” He began to tremble all over, tears beginning to well in his eyes. “You thought you were punishing sinners but it is you who sins... against your legacy, against god.” He whimpered at this, and she saw him as the tortured little boy that he really was. Pathetic, selfish, and weak. “Those girls were innocent of the crime you thought they committed, as was I... Do you understand what you are? You are a murderer, a liar, you steal and manipulate, you are a disgrace to your family and your name.”

It was too easy, really. The whole time she was Lucy Hall she was worried about pleasing Thomas and the rest of the family that she didn’t realize how much power she had over this man. She lived in the space between wanting to be her own person and wanting to be a Shelby. Now, as she watched Bradley’s spirit die behind his eyes because of mere words, she understood that she didn’t need anyone else to be complete and whole and powerful. She understood that even though she became like a companion to Alfie Solomons, he did not consider her less than him and this allowed her room to realize her potential.

Cara held her breath and Bradley pressed the pen to the papers and signed his name. When he finished she took the pen from his hand and clutched the envelopes to her chest as she stood up and stepped back. Bradley released ugly sobs that grew louder and more terrible as the cuts on his face were salted by his tears. She waited until he quieted, it took a long time, then she gestured to Alfie to follow her.

Together they hoisted Bradley up by the elbows to a shaky standing position after his ankles were freed. Then Cara spoke into his ear, “Step up on the chair, Roland.” For a moment it seemed like he would protest, but he didn’t. He followed her direction, as always before, and climbed up despite his displaced knee. Alfie pulled the noose over his head as Cara couldn’t reach. They watched him struggle to stand steady, ready to topple over any second, before Cara stepped forward to him again.

“You are going to be judged by your god now, do you understand?” Cara said, her voice was strong and clear. With a sudden movement she swung her leg and kicked the chair out from beneath him before he could even register what was happening.

The silent room made the sounds of his suffocation so much louder than they were. He shuddered and choked, seizing wildly, eyes rolling back into his head. It lasted only a minute before he hung still, swaying slightly, over the open floor and the bones below. If Cara thought his eyes were dead as she verbally broke him, it was nothing compared to now. Watching as the life truly left them gave her first a rush of immeasurable power, then peace. Alfie was right, now she didn’t feel anything but a sense of completion and, strangely, a heightened sense of awareness.

Neither of them looked back as they went back upstairs and out the door. Nor did they speak as Cara gave Finn and Isaiah the envelopes. In fact, a word wasn’t uttered between them until they were parked outside Polly’s house. It was Alfie who finally broke the silence, “How does it feel, now, to be a killer?” 

“It feels like... like anything I’ve ever done.” Cara whispered.

Alfie stepped out of the car and walked around to open her door. She copied him and stepped out then let him lead her up to the front door. She was about to grab the handle when he reached out and took her hand, stopping her. “Wait-” he said, “Let’s sit for a minute...” He pulled her down to join him on the steps. They sat in silence for a while, a cold breeze playing on their faces, before he spoke again with a sigh. “Can I be honest with you, love? I need to be fuckin’ honest with you...” Cara nodded her head and he continued, “For so long... you’ve been toeing the line that separates man from monster.” He scratched his beard and sighed again. “You can’t keep it up any longer or it’ll fuckin’ destroy you. You can’t... you can’t keep pretending you don’t know what you have festering inside of you... not now, not after what you’ve just done.”

He turned and looked at her fully, “You just destroyed a man in less than three fuckin’ hours!” It wasn’t said with judgement but with some kind of pride, with amazement. “I really fuckin’ admire that... I admire you.” His voice was gruff and he didn’t meet her eyes. “Now don’t misunderstand what I say next... but as much as it feels like we should be headed back off home to London...” He trailed off again, unsure how to finish his jumbled thoughts. Cara’s heart dropped into her stomach. It really did feel like the next natural thing to do was get back in the car and return with him. She couldn’t speak even if she wanted to.

“But what I would regret, more than anything, is you getting lost again... lost like how you got chained to your brothers. You don’t fuckin’ deserve that.” He looked into her eyes again, his own full of sadness yet still fierce and hard as ever. “Now it’s time for you to choose the life you want to live. Do you want too live under the heels of men? Or are you going to take this world, this very harsh world, by the fuckin’ balls and take what you fuckin’ want?” He sighed again, thinking of how he would live every day without seeing her sweet face. He’d forgotten how to do it. “We’re cut from the same cloth, you and I, love... we really are. But you’ve got to figure this out for yourself, where to go from here...”

Cara stared at him for a few moments, trying to absorb what he said, her eyes boring into his with such intensity he found it hard to swallow the lump in his throat. She knew he was right. It would do her no good to attach herself to a man right now. It really was time to figure herself out. She drank in his presence, knowing that this would be last time they would see each other for a long while. Her eyes roved his face, from his brooding grey eyes and scruffy brown beard to the scar along his cheek and his pouting lips. Had she ever met such a confounding man? He was so scary and demanding, full of brute strength and violence. Yet here he sat being so gentle and thoughtful. How could there be so many parts to one person?

Alfie had been dead silent the entire time. He watched her as she committed his face to memory. As she took his hands in hers, he sighed and closed his eyes. He felt her breath on his skin as she leaned into him and said, “Before we parts ways, you must know that I’m grateful to you.” She pulled one of her hands out of their firm grip and touched his cheek, her palm tickled by his beard. “And you must know I’ll think of you everyday until I see you again.”

Suddenly she closed her eyes and tilted her head as she kissed him. It felt as familiar as breathing, soft and gentle. She quickly had both hands on his face, pulling him closer. It took him a second to register what she was doing, he was stunned but enthralled. He wrapped one arm around her waist and the other gripped the back of her neck, melding their bodies together as she ended up with one leg draped over his. They were completely tangled together, kissing like the world would end, deaf to their surroundings. They kissed each other deep and open-mouthed, Cara flushed with pleasure as he licked and bit at her lips and his hand moved from her neck into her hair, gripping just as tight.

Neither of them could recall how long the kiss lasted, it felt like an eternity inside only a few minutes. Finally, both gasping for breath, she pulled away, his bottom lip trapped between her teeth. Their foreheads rested together as they caught their breath. Then after disentangling his hand from her hair, other hand still holding her waist, he stared openly, fully appreciating her beauty. The way her blue eyes sparkled in the dim moonlight, how red and plump her lips were, the rosiness in her cheeks... he would remember the way she looked in this moment for the rest of his life.

She blushed impossibly darker as he said in a rough and throaty voice, “You really are a wicked girl, Cara Shelby.” She leaned back in and pecked him once, twice, three times, his beard ticking her face and her eyelashes brushing against his cheekbones. The cold then seeped into her skin as he stood up, his arm dragging up to her face. He held it there, thumb stroking her cheek softly as he said, “When you’re ready, you know where to find me.” And he walked away down the steps to his car. Then he drove away without looking back.

As Cara watched the dark shape turn around the corner she was filled with the strange mixture of emotions of hope and loss. She was sad to watch him go but knew it wouldn’t be long until they met again.


	9. part nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> next one is the epilogue, i hope you enjoyed xoxo

Cara was in a daze for weeks. Her body was in the present but her mind was reliving the kiss over and over and over again, like she was in a time loop. At first it was blissful but quickly made her heart ache and stomach twist up in knots. She was staying at Aunt Polly’s house for the time being, until she figured out what to do next. Polly was concerned but kept it to herself, she assumed Cara just needed time to get over everything. And anyway, all the Shelbys were excellent at avoiding things until it either went away or exploded in their faces. One early morning though, Polly had had enough of depressed Cara and took to barging loudly into her room.

“Cara, love,” she crooned, shaking Cara’s shoulder. “Time to get up...” She sighed as Cara groaned and rolled away to the other side of the bed. Polly went to the foot of the bed and ripped the covers away, leaving her niece shivering in the cold morning air. “Get the fuck up, you’re not spending another day in my house like this.” Polly stomped out and yelled back from the hallway, “And get ready, you’re coming with me today!”

Cara did actually get out of bed after a few minutes of pouting, making her way into the bathroom. A peek in the mirror gave her a start, she looked terrible. A closer look revealed a rat’s nest bedhead, dark purple circles underneath her gummy eyes, and a foul smell coming from her dry lips. Though all of this would be fixed with a hot bath, it wouldn’t fix the slight weight gain. Not that Cara wanted it fixed, she actually quite liked it.

Downstairs Polly was waiting for her in the sitting room. As Cara entered she looked up with an appraising look, “Much better,” she said. “Are you going to eat breakfast before we leave?” It was long past breakfast now, but Cara was bound to be hungry.

“No,” Cara said quietly. “I don’t much like breakfast.” Of course this wasn’t always true, but breakfast stopped tasting good since the first morning in Birmingham she was awake for. “Let’s just go... where are we going anyway?”

“To the office,” Polly said as she stood up from her chair. “it’s time you started pulling your weight.” She didn’t say this to be mean, but Cara couldn’t just mope around anymore.

It was so strange to be back at Shelby Company Limited offices, alien and unfamiliar. Before the whole ordeal Cara had been travelling all over Europe and hadn’t been home in months, it was now over a year since she’d stepped foot on the premises. It was a ghost town, all quiet and dim. The people who were actually there were shut up in their offices working. She supposed Thomas was one of these people but Polly led her instead to Michael’s office.

He was hunched over his desk, scribbling in a thick leather-bound book. Not looking up at the sound of Polly entering he said, “Please tell me you have those documents I asked for-”

“No, no,” Polly interrupted. “I have something better,” She gestured to Cara as Michael jerked his head up at the sound of her voice, now realizing who it was.

“Oh, it’s you two,” He sounded dry as usual but his eyes lit up. “Glad you’re back, Cara.” She just smiled and nodded, not really knowing what to say seeing as she still wasn’t sure if she was glad to be back yet. Polly and Michael spoke for a few minutes longer. About what Cara didn’t know, she tuned out and settled for staring at the floor.

Polly waved goodbye to Michael and lead her to Thomas’ office. He was sitting behind the desk, cigarette in one hand and phone in the other, talking in low tones to the person on the other end. As they stepped in he looked up, a flash of mild interest crossed his features and he held eyes with Cara as he ended the conversation. Polly looked back and forth between the two siblings, waiting for one of them to speak first. She must have decided they weren’t going to because after a few moments she broke it herself.

“Are we going to stand here all fucking day or what?” Her clear voice cut through the tension and Thomas waved them closer.

He took a deep breath before he spoke, “So are you ready to get back into the business then?” His voice was steady like usual, but there was a very slight accusatory tone to it.

Cara bypassed that, she knew he was picking for a fight and she would refuse to make time for it. “I suppose.”

“You suppose?” Now he was challenging her.

Taken aback, Cara blinked in surprise. Who does he think he is? Her brow furrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Yeah, I fucking suppose.”

He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, copying her. Polly’s eyes were still ping-ponging between them. Thomas gave Cara an appraising look for a moment before turning up one corner of his mouth in an almost-smile. “Well then, let’s get started.”

Cara had forgotten what a true whirlwind it was being a Shelby. She still wasn’t comfortable calling herself a Peaky Blinder and she most likely never would be, but she was a Shelby through and through. Thomas kept her busy just like she’d asked him to. She rarely did the same thing everyday, making her way all about Birmingham running errands, working the track, the betting house, and the offices. She also became Thomas’ go-to when he needed someone to join him at parties and dinners with important people. He brought Grace with him mostly, but when he felt it was too dangerous he brought Cara. Thomas was consistently impressed with her, which was nice. It kept them from bickering and he didn’t keep her in the dark with anything.

Cara may have gone home to Polly’s house dead tired and worn from her busy days but she felt good about it. She stopped enjoying menial tasks, stopped enjoying letting her mind wander, because every time that happened her mind wandered to Alfie within seconds even though it had been months since they last saw each other. So instead her thoughts were free of him until she passed out every night.

The first night she didn’t dream about him left her feeling horrible. She awoke before the sun had risen and, though she was well rested, there was what felt like a huge hole in her chest. Now she didn’t even get to be with him in her dreams... it was cruel. She felt so lost and didn’t know what to do, so she went in search for her aunt. Polly was usually an early riser so Cara wasn’t concerned with waking her.

After wrapping in her robe and putting on her thickest pair of wool socks she went downstairs. She didn’t have to search long before finding Polly in the kitchen, she was sitting beneath the window drinking tea and reading the paper. The sun was now starting to rise and it cast a yellow glow around her fluffy hair. As Cara sat down opposite her, she asked, “What are you doing awake so early?” Her voice was gentler than Cara had ever heard, she had seen the look Cara was wearing in her own eyes enough times to know what was going on.

“I don’t know,” Cara was equally as quiet. “I just wanted to sit with you.”

“Bullshit,” Polly said, setting her paper down and giving Cara a searing look. “There’s something on your mind, spit it out, girl.”

Cara put her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her arms, not able to meet Polly’s eyes. She didn’t know what to say at first, but as soon as she opened her mouth to speak the words came flowing out, “How do you know if you’re in love?”

Polly reached across and brushed the hair out of Cara’s eyes, tucking it behind her ear. “Oh, dear...” She didn’t speak again for a few moments, trying to think of the best way to continue. “It’s nothing grand, really... An empty space grows inside of you and only one person can fill it.” She sighed, “When you’re with them you feel twice as much alive, and when you’re away from each other you could be an ocean apart and still feel it.” Silence stretched between them for several minutes before Polly spoke again, “It’s him, isn’t it?” 

Cara lifted her head and looked out the window, it had started to snow for the first time that season. The flakes glittered and sparkled in the sunlight and she wondered if Alfie liked snow. “Yes.” She said simply. “I needed to understand who I am, and now I do, but I can’t...” Her throat constricted and nose burned, “I don’t know how much longer I can be without him.”

“I think it’s time you go see Ada,” Polly said, standing up. “It’s almost Christmas and she and Karl would love to see you.”

“She won’t come home for Christmas?” Cara asked.

“Not if she can help it, besides, when is the last time this fucking family has bothered celebrating any holiday?” Polly was right, the last time they were all together was Thomas and Grace’s wedding.

Cara stood up too and followed Polly to the phone. “Fair point,” she said, “I do miss her very much.”

“Not to mention,” Polly had started dialing the phone to call Ada, “You’ll be in London.” She turned and smirked at Cara, whose eyes had widen at her insinuation.

Cara finished up the rest of the week of work, pleased to find that Thomas was fine with her leaving for London when she told him. In fact he seemed to have expected it. It was the evening before Christmas Eve Day when Cara boarded the train, waving through the window at Polly who’d dropped her off at the station. The entire way there she was jittery, excited to see her sister. She was a year older than Ada so they had been joined at the hip all through childhood. Although they had talked on the phone a lot these past few months, it would never be the same as physically being near each other.

The trained pulled into the station later that night and Cara hadn’t felt so happy in months as she saw Ada and Karl waiting for her on the platform. They must have arrived just on time instead of waiting because it was freezing cold and snowing again. Cara jumped out and ran to hug Ada, both of them laughing at how Karl was squealing with delight.

“Oh, look at you!” Cara pulled him into her arms and cooed, “You were so little when I last saw you, look at you now,” He was no longer a baby, but a chubby little boy with warm brown eyes and rosy, dimpled cheeks. “Do you remember me, Karl? I’m your auntie Cara-”

Karl responded with a giggle as he tugged her hair. “Of course he remembers you,” Ada said, picking up the suitcases Cara had dropped at their feet. “Let’s get in the car, I’m starting to freeze.”

The drive to Ada’s home went by so quickly, both of them chattering away. They didn’t stop their conversation as they made their way into the warm house, taking off their coats. Ada led Cara, who was holding Karl again, into the sitting room. The fire was merely warm embers but they sat together on the sofa in front of it. They only lasted a few minutes like this before the little boy between them began to yawn and fall asleep.

“Here,” Ada stood and picked him up, making her way to the stairs. “Come with me while I put him to bed.”

Cara picked up her suitcases and followed, watching with fondness from the threshold as Ada laid her son in his crib and kissed him. After she walked out and shut his bedroom door Cara said, “You make such a good mum,” Ada turned and looked at her. “I’m really proud of you.”

Ada grinned and said, “Thank you, love,” then took Cara’s hand and led her into the next room. “I made up the spare room for you but I thought we could share tonight, like when we were girls.”

Their shoes were abandoned, they changed into their night clothes, and they climbed into Ada’s bed. Facing each other in the dim light of the lamps they started to giggle quietly. It was so late and they were so tired that everything felt extremely funny.

“I can’t believe you’re here!” Ada whispered. “I’ve missed you so much, we have so much to talk about...”

“I know,” Cara replied. “We have a lot to catch up on, don’t we?”

Ada bit her lip, she knew she could ask her sister anything but she didn’t want to upset her. After a moment she blurted out, “Are you going to see Aflie Solomons while you’re here?” 

Cara smiled, she wasn’t upset, in fact hearing his name said out loud made her stomach swoop. “I don’t know...”

“I’m going to a New Years party, and you’re coming with me,” Ada giggled and said, “maybe he’ll be there-”

“Oh, Ada...” Cara was suspicious of the sparkle in her eyes, “I thought I was the sneaky one, please don’t do anything stupid-”

“Me, do something stupid?” Ada pretended to be affronted. “I have never!”

Neither of them lasted more than a few minutes before falling asleep, their next words still on their tongues.

Christmas went by quickly. Cara, Ada, and Karl enjoyed a quiet dinner and the two young women doted over the sweet little boy. Cara had brought him a stuffed rabbit as a gift and Ada had helped him tear open many packages filled with clothes, toys, and a new tricycle. He ended up riding it around the downstairs whenever he wasn’t eating or sleeping.

By the time the evening of the party came, Cara was almost sick with nervousness. It was to be at the grand opening of a new club owned by one of Ada’s friends, and as she gave Cara the dress she bought her, Cara knew that she was definitely up to something. They were both standing in front of Ada’s wardrobe when she handed her a large white box tied with a red ribbon.

“What’s this?” Cara asked, puzzled.

“Just open it,” Ada was buzzing with excitement. “It’s for you to wear to the party, your belated Christmas present.”

Cara walked over to the bed and set the box on it. She pulled away the ribbon and lifted the lid. Reaching in she pulled out a dress with a gasp. “Oh!” Cara laid it out on the bed to look at it properly. “Wow... this is so beautiful, Ada, thank you...”

It truly was a work of art. The dress was made of a shiny, pale pink silk and it glowed in the light. Something else in the box caught Cara’s eye again, there were also a pair of pumps and another small box. She pulled the shoes out and gasped again, they were made of a cream colored leather that tied behind the heel with pieces of silk the same color as the dress. She reached in and pulled out the smaller box, inside was a pair of diamond and pearl earrings and a matching necklace.

“Oh, Ada,” Cara turned to thank her again, but started laughing at the look on Ada’s face. Her hands were clasped under her chin and she was grinning from ear to ear. “This is amazing, thank you!” 

“Put it on, quickly,” Ada joined in on her laughter, “I want to see it all on!”

Cara stripped down and carefully pulled the dress over her head, it fit a little tighter than the day’s fashion suggested it should, but as she looked in the full length mirror next to Ada’s vanity she had never loved the way she looked more than in that moment. The way the bust area was cut was meant to cover her more than it did, her cleavage strained slightly against the v-neck, but it looked incredible. The fit became looser before the fabric was tightly wrapped and folded just at her natural waistline, flowing out in soft folds from there. She turned and looked over her shoulder to see the thin straps continued down her bare back and connected to the dress as it stopped above her hips. The front part that was wrapped was tied into a knot that rested just above the base of her spine and led down to the short train at the bottom.

Ada handed her the shoes and after Cara put them on it was revealed that the dress was short enough in the front that it just reached her ankles and billowed out longer around the back. “Oh my god,” Ada said, “You look fuckin’ amazing...” She picked up the necklace and Cara lifted her hair, already in soft curls, and clasped it. The front was high on her neck with a second loop below her collarbones and a third loop draped down her back. Cara put on her earrings as Ada put her dress on.

Ada’s was above her knees and black with a silver beaded shell pattern. As she slipped her silver heels on she said, “Oh, I almost forgot!” She went back in the closet and pulled out two fur wraps, one grey and one black. Ada took the grey one and Cara the black. They stood in front of the mirror and admired themselves some more, giggling, before the doorbell rang from downstairs. “There’s the sitter, let’s go.” Ada said and led the way.

Cara lingered back to stare at her reflection one more time, trying to imagine what Alfie would say if he could see her now. Nothing came to mind, he’d only ever seen her shabby, really. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, now wasn’t the time to think of it. Now was the time to let loose and have fun.

Stepping through the door of the club left Cara speechless. She had been to many clubs before, but nothing like this one. It managed to be cozy and comfortable but extremely elegant and grand at the same time. The high ceilings were decked with chandeliers, the marble floors were buffed shiny, both standing and sitting tables scattered around, and the huge dance floor was already crowded with people. To the left were a bunch of glass doors that led into private parlours, most of them full, and to the right were two long bars that bordered a large stage. The further Cara and Ada walked in the warmer it became and they saw along the back were doors that led to the toilets and a coat check.

The band was in full swing, blaring an upbeat song into the dancing crowd below. As the sisters made their way around them to the furthest bar, a man came up behind them and touched Ada’s shoulder. She turned and smiled widely, it was her friend and the owner of the new establishment.

“Harry!” She cried, it was difficult to hear over the music. “Harry this is my sister, Cara. Cara this is Harry Lloyd- this is his new club!” She pulled Cara closer to them so they could meet. Cara shook his hand and smiled, not even bothering trying to start a conversation.

“I was afraid you weren’t coming,” Harry leaned forward to say in Ada’s ear, “The party started hours ago!” He didn’t seem mad, in fact he was laughing.

“Girls as pretty as us don’t come to parties on time, didn’t you know?” Ada winked and pulled Cara to the bar, leaving Harry still laughing. The end of the furthest bar was quiet enough that they could talk. After they ordered their drinks they only sat for a few minutes before Ada pulled Cara onto the dance floor. 

The night was swept away in a flurry of loud noise and colors and drinks. Cara forgot how fun Ada could be, and noticed how much more fun she was now that she was away from the family, free to be herself. Both of them were getting asked left and right to dance and it went on for a long time before Cara finally had to say no and take a break. Ada did, too, but went off to talk to her friend.

Cara was glad to see the black fur wrap she had left on the bar stool was still there, along with Ada’s. She had another drink and sat back admiring the beautiful venue. It seemed she had finally caught her breath when she lost it again, the man who she could recognize anywhere stepped out of one of the private rooms across the way near the front door. The club wasn’t small, but even from the back he stuck out like a sore thumb to Cara. His hulking frame, cane, top hat, and long coat were visible from this distance. A fast moving shape made a beeline to him from the crowd, it was Ada. She went up to him and they shook hands and spoke for a few moments before she turned and pointed towards Cara.

Cara quickly turned away, pretending she hadn’t been watching. Not only did she not want to seem desperate, but she didn’t want to see him leave if he decided to do so. She sat there for what felt like an eternity, her heart jumping out of her chest. If he didn’t turn around and walk out, would he come and talk to her? What would he say? What would she say? 

She felt him approach her before he could speak and turned to face him. He stopped short, two feet away, with such a dumbfounded look on his face that she almost laughed. His eyes roved her figure, struck silent by her beauty. She set her drink on the bar top and leaned her elbow on it, crossed one leg over the other, and adjusted her wrap. The series of movements took his breath away and he closed the gap between them after blinking away the stars in his eyes. Cara looked up at him and smiled, finally, after realizing how nervous he was.

Deciding to call him out on it she asked, “You are happy to see me, aren’t you?” He grunted and cleared his throat, looking around like he hadn’t heard her. “Oh, Aflie,” He looked back at her teasing tone and the way it sounded when she said his name gave him chills, “Sit down with me, won’t you?”

He didn’t sit down, but instead held out his hand for her to take. When she did he led her to one of the last empty rooms across the way, dodging tables as they went. After they entered he shut the door behind them and turned to face her. He couldn’t say anything so he lifted his hand and cupped her face, sighing as she leaned into his touch. They stood there for a moment, the sound of the music dull behind the glass doors.

After Alfie collected himself he said, “Sorry, love, I couldn’t think with all that fuckin’ noise.”

Cara huffed out a laugh and raised her own hand to touch his. “I never figured you for a clubbing man, why are you here?” She took his hand pulled him down with her into the booth behind them.

They settled into a comfortable position, Alfie’s arm draped around her shoulder and Cara’s over his stomach. “I’m here on business,” he said, “jewels.”

“Ah,” Cara nodded before resting her head on his shoulder. “I didn’t know Harry was into that.”

“I wouldn’t have chosen to meet here, but,” he looked down at the top of Cara’s head and smiled, “he told me Ada Thorne said to say hello and that she and her sister would be coming... I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see you, could I?”

Cara tilted her face up and they were a breath away, “I knew she was up to something, that Ada...” Their lips pressed together and it was better than the first time. It was like everything suddenly made sense, everything fit into place. His other hand wound it’s way into her curls as the arm around her shoulder tightened and pulled her closer. Cara’s arms held on to him and her legs ended up across his lap.

After a few moments they pulled apart, both flushed and breathless even though it was simply a kiss. ”Have you figured it out?” He asked.

“Yes.” Cara nodded and kissed him again quickly before saying, “I know what I am and I know what I want.” Alfie looked at her with questions in his eyes so she elaborated, “I’m not a wife, a mother, a Blinder... I’m just Cara, and I just want you.” 

“Well, just Cara,” Alfie grinned and his hands moved over her, the hand around her shoulder replaced the one in her hair after it traveled down the bare skin of her back to her ass, pulling her completely onto his lap. “That sounds good to me,” and he kissed her fiercely, their movements in perfect sync. After a minute of this he tilted her head back and traveled down her jaw and neck with hot open-mouthed kisses, Cara mewling softly as he did so.

Suddenly the door opened with a bang, the deafening noise rushing in with the sounds of crowing men. Cara didn’t mind being seen like this, draped over a man’s lap with flushed skin and messy hair, but Alfie seemed slightly scandalized. “Oi, fuck off!” He shouted, scaring the men into quickly shutting the door. Cara began laughing and hid her face in the crook of Alfie’s neck. “Stop that,” he grunted, “It’s not funny...” 

“Oh, fuck,” She was gasping for breath, clutching her stomach. “But your face! It was so funny-”

Alfie ignored her and pulled her back to facing him and kissed her smile away. “So much for privacy...” He rolled his eyes and Cara reached up to stroke his beard fondly. As she did he smiled beneath it, eyes twinkling. “Are you ready to go home?”

His question sent a wave of pleasure through her. “Yes,” she replied, “Let’s go home.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is my first time writing smut, i hope it isn't too terrible lol! thanks for reading everyone xoxo

Ada watched Cara and Alfie strut out of the club like they were walking on clouds instead of marble floors. She tried to catch Cara’s eye but her sister only had eyes for Alfie, and he might have been walking hand in hand with an angel if anyone asked.

It was still snowing outside as they exited the grand building. The flakes were the fat, fluffy kind that took a moment to melt when they touched skin. Cara tilted her head back and opened her mouth to catch one on her tongue. Alfie chuckled and shook his head at her.

“What?” She asked. “Don’t tell me you don’t like snow…” Her tone was teasing as she reached up with her hand that wasn’t holding his to brush some out of his beard.

“Oh, well,” he copied her and stuck his tongue out, holding his hat on his head as he tilted his face up. “I don’t fuckin’ know, it’s fine I guess… C’mon, let’s get to the car,” he tugged her hand and they began walking again. “As much as I love your dress…” he looked at her sideways, up and down, “You look absolutely fuckin’ ravishing, love, really… but you already look frozen to death.”

Cara blushed at both his compliment and wandering eyes. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “It’s been a while since I got all dressed up-”

“Maybe I’ll become the clubbing type,” Alfie started, beard twitching with a smirk, “if it means I get to see you looking like this more often.” He smiled for real as Cara blurted out a giggle from behind her hand.

The rest of the walk to the car and the ride home passed in a blur for both of them. It wasn’t until the key turned in the lock of the front door that they were both pushed into a heightened sense of awareness. The creak of the door opening and closing, their footsteps on the hardwood, the shuffle of his coat and jacket as he hung them up along with his hat… these sounds pierced their ears with intensity. Alfie gently pulled away Cara’s fur shrug and as his fingers brushed her skin it caused her to shiver. “Still cold?” He asked, his voice a rough murmur.

“No,” Cara answered, her voice just as quiet. “I’m fine.”

Alfie walked around her and into the sitting room to light the fire. As he busied himself with that, Cara went to the cabinet left of him and made two drinks for them. She finished before he did and went up behind him, nudging his shoulder with the glass. “Oh, fuck,” he finished and sighed as he stood up, taking it from her hand. “Thank you, love.” They both turned and sat on the sofa, Alfie leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and Cara had her legs crossed so she could twist and face him. They sat quietly for a while, both thinking about the same thing- each other.

Cara grew impatient and finally broke the silence. She drained her glass and set it on the table in front of them. “Are we going to sit here all night, or are you finally going to fuck me?” 

Her bold tone caused Alfie to choke on his drink, he whipped his head around with a bewildered look on his face. Cara smirked at him for a moment as he floundered. “I forget what a dirty fuckin’ mouth you have, girl,” he started to laugh, pausing to drain his own glass, and kept laughing as he sat up and pulled Cara in to kiss her.

They both laughed through the kiss before standing up, hands caressing and gripping tightly. Their mouths moved in sync, growing more urgent and heated by the second. Alfie’s hands made her skin buzz, one held the back of her neck and the other traveled down her waist to her hip, leaving trails of fire behind. Cara held onto his shoulders for dear life as she pulled away for breath. The look in his eyes made her heart beat impossibly faster, he looked at her like she was water and he was a man dying of thirst.

“Upstairs, c’mon.” She whispered, taking his hand and tugging him to the staircase. He gripped her hips from behind as they climbed up, then steered her to his room. The door opened and hit the wall with a thump and before Cara could look around she was turned and pushed backward on the bed. He kneeled over her, hands on either side of her head, taking a moment to admire the smile gracing her swollen lips before kissing her again.

This only lasted a few more minutes before she rolled him over. Sitting over his stomach and her hands on his chest, she looked down at him with dark eyes and began unbuttoning his shirt and pulling off his suspenders. He watched her do this for a moment, hands behind his head. He exhaled loudly after she stroked his bare chest with cold fingers, her coy little smirk at his reaction prompted him to sit up quickly. He shifted Cara off of his lap and stood up, running his hands through her hair as she continued undressing him from her seated position. She tossed his shirt to the side as he toed off his shoes and socks. As she undid his belt and tugged down his trousers, an unwitting gasp escaped her lips.

Alfie chuckled and pulled her up to stand in front of him. He leaned in and kissed her again before his hands let go of her’s, moving up her arms to her shoulders. He toyed with the fabric of her dress, admiring the way it stretched over her chest. His pause gave her the courage to say what she really wanted to. “Alfie…”

“Yes?” The way she stared into his eyes sent shivers down his spine.

“I want you,” she whispered, “so fucking bad.”

“Fuckin’ hell…” He leaned his head back and sighed deeply, nearly losing it. He was bewildered and incredibly turned on. “You’re gonna be the death of me, Cara fuckin’ Shelby.” He sighed again and his grip on her arms tightened, then he pulled the straps of her dress down slowly, groaning as it dropped to the floor, now a pile of warm silk surrounding her feet. 

Cara bit her lip to keep from giggling, Ada really knew what she was doing. She had picked out the exact kind of dress that called for the kind of confidence Cara had, it was to be worn best undergarment free- saving for the stockings that clung to her upper thighs. Her ample breasts and curvy hips were far and few between these days but Alfie was the exact opposite of disappointed. She pushed him back on the bed and straddled him again and they kissed with a new fervour. Alfie’s hands gripped her tightly, bringing them skin to skin as she started to slowly grind her hips into his. The friction was delicious and unbearable.

Alfie only lasted a few minutes like this before he groaned and flipped her over, trailing down her chest and stomach with opened-mouth kisses. Cara jumped a little as his beard tickled her inner thighs, she lifted her head up to look at him as she asked, “What are you doing?” She was only mildly alarmed, the heat under her skin made her dizzy.

“Trust me,” the way he was looking at her from that angle sent a powerful kind of sensation through her, “I know what I’m doing, you’ll fuckin’ love it…”

Of course, he was right, she did. He left a hickey on each inner thigh before kissing his way to her core, licking and sucking his way around her clit. Cara was releasing breathy moans and he had to hold her hips down as her first orgasm crashed over her. It happened so quickly she didn’t have a chance to say anything, but this didn’t stop Alfie. He inserted one finger into her and continued tracing shapes with his tongue. Soon, her hips were rolling again and her back arched so he put his forearm across her navel and he added another finger, beginning to curl them inside her and sucking her already sensitive nub harder.

Her legs began to tremble as her second orgasm swelled up in her, and she whimpered, “Oh my god,” she reached down and held his arm tightly, “oh- fuck,” it hit her harder this time and a tear escaped her eye as she shook and tried to keep from squeezing her legs together. She didn’t hear him pull away and stand up, but as she opened her eyes she saw him stripping out of his boxer shorts. He was quite the sight, standing there with his hulking figure in the dark room, looking at her with dark eyes. He stood there for a moment to admire her until she beckoned him with a soft movement of her hand. 

He situated her legs so they draped over his and he laid over her again, one arm on the side of her head and the other hand cupping her face. She kissed him and their tongues melted together as he moved his hips just barely against her. They stayed like that for a few minutes, sweaty bodies clinging together as they kissed all over each other’s faces and necks. Soon Alfie couldn’t take being gentle anymore, he tangled his fingers in her hair and gripped tightly, pulling her head back. Cara gasped and moaned at the sudden movement, then cried out as he rolled so they lay sideways and faced each other. He grabbed the back of her thigh roughly, hiking it up over him. Now they were truly tangled, and as their foreheads rested together he asked, “You ready for more?”

The growl in his voice made Cara whine her answer, “Yes.” Her whine turned into a moan as he entered her, filling her completely at the first stroke. He started slow and deep, but that didn’t last long as she began to quicken her hip movements. The noises they both made were obscene and after Cara’s hand went of its own accord to rub frantic circles on her clit she began to shake. She was struggling to reach her peak one last time, every part of her was on fire and sensitive and sore already. Alfie hear her groans of frustration, it was right there but she couldn’t reach it.

“Fuck,” He tugged her hair and made her look at him. “C’mon, love, let go-” as he said it, she closed her eyes and saw white, clenching and throbbing and gasping. She could feel her own pulse in every bit of her body and it was like nothing she ever felt before. It took all of his concentration to not join her, so he settled for watching her experience it without him. Flushed cheeks, eyes rolled back, her red lips parted.

He waited for her to come down from the high before pulling out and rolling onto his back. Before he could blink, though, she had sat up and moved to kneel over him. “What’re you doing?” He asked, but she didn’t answer with words. Instead she took his length in her hands and stroked him firmly. Alfie’s eyes nearly popped out of his skull and he muttered, “Jesus fucking christ-” and she leaned her face down to lick and suck him with more enthusiasm than he could ever hope for. He didn’t last long, and as his hips jerked and he spluttered more expletives she pulled away and lay next to him with a sigh.

They lay in a familiar, comfortable silence. It stretched on for several minutes, both of them lost in their own thoughts of how their relationship had just changed, and how both of them wanted each other- but how would it work? What sort of roles and labels were needing to be applied? Was the other person feeling and thinking the same thing? Surprisingly, it was Alfie who broke the silence. He took a deep breath before saying, “I fuckin’ love you, Cara…” his voice was quiet and although he was nervous, he was sure about saying it.

Cara wasn’t nervous at all but she paused anyway because she wanted to remember this moment, she wanted to commit it to memory forever. She smiled as she replied, “Really?”

“Well I wouldn’t’ve fuckin’ said it if I didn’t mean it-”

He was interrupted by her giggle, and it made him smile, too. “Oh Alfie, I love you, too,” she turned and curled up to his side and his arms wrapped around her. “But what the fuck do we do now?”

“We don’t have to worry about that yet, yeah?” He really didn’t want to just yet, for once he didn’t want to plan anything out.

“Can’t we just…” she sighed and tilted her head up to look at him, “can we make things like before?” Her question was innocent, naive, but there was no need to get complicated.

“Yeah, like before,” he kissed her forehead, “but now we can include some fucking now and again…”

Cara rolled her eyes. “We could have been fucking for a long while now, if you had made a move.” Her tone was teasing and she didn’t need to see him to know the look on his face.

“Made a move?” He exclaimed, exasperated, “I was trying to be fuckin’ respectful, you shit-”

She just laughed and kissed him quiet, “I’m only joking, well, half joking-”

He grumbled, “What does that mean?”

“Nevermind,” she yawned and rested her face in the crook of his neck. Her eyes closed and her breathing slowed, and in a few minutes she fell asleep. Alfie wanted to ask her again, but followed suit without complaint.

The next morning was something entirely new for Cara and Alfie. Waking up in each other’s arms was new, getting ready for the day was new, eating breakfast together was new- well, it wasn’t totally new, but it felt like it. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other, not in a round two sort of way but just casual displays of affection. Cara’s hand patting his cheek, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his shoulder when she stood behind him, holding his hand… Alfie’s hand on the small of her back at any available moment, pushing stray curls away from her face, kissing her temple, that sort of thing.

Cara had to put on her party dress from last night seeing as she had taken all her things with her when she left before. Alfie didn’t bother hiding his smoldering stare at all and when she caught his eye he just smirked. They were cleaning up in the kitchen when she decided it was time to break the spell.

“So,” she started, “I’m sure you need to go to the bakery today, yeah?”

“Yeah, I do.” Alfie could see the cogs turning in her head before she spoke.

“I should really let Ada know I’m okay.”

“Give her a call so she can pick you up,” He tried to say casually, but felt bad about it as Cara froze. “So you can get your stuff, I mean.” He realized she understand as she sighed.

“What about all my stuff in Birmingham?” Her voice was quiet.

“Well,” he sniffed, “I can buy you new stuff… if you don’t feel like waiting.”

Cara bit her lip to keep from grinning. She kissed his cheek and ran off to call Ada and hoped he wouldn’t listen in too hard because she was afraid she’d sound like just a silly girl with a crush. Which, to be fair, she kind of was.

After Ada picked up, she said, “Ada, Ada, Ada!” Her voice came out in a whispered rush.

“Oh my god,” Ada sounded slightly worried, “Cara! Where are you? What happened? Are you still with him?” Every word mounted in excitement.

“Yes,” Cara held the phone close to her mouth and looked behind her shoulder, relieved to see Alfie was still out of earshot. “Come pick me up, I’ll tell you everything when I see you-”

“You’re going to make me wait?” Ada was laughing but she conceded, “I’ll be there soon.” Cara gave her the address and they hung up.

When she turned around she saw Alfie standing in front of the fireplace. He turned and smiled as she made her way over to him. “Want me to wait here with you until she gets here?” He asked. Cara nodded and they sat together on the sofa, each with a book in hand.

It wasn’t long until a sharp rap on the door jerked them out of their silence, Cara having ended up with her head in his lap. They both stood up quickly and Cara ran to the door, whipping it open to see an excited Ada and Karl. She tried to make a face telling Ada to keep her mouth shut, but she hadn’t heard Alfie join her until his arm made its way around her waist. She froze with her greeting in her throat and Alfie tried not to laugh at her sudden awkwardness.

“Well come in,” he said, nudging Cara over, “it’s cold out there.”

Ada stepped over the threshold and set Karl down, holding his hand so he could walk on his own. “Thank you,” she said, and Cara could see she was being on her best behaviour. “I know we sort of met last night, but this is my son, Karl.” Karl waved at Alfie with the hand that wasn’t clutching his mother’s and grinned sheepishly at Cara.

Alfie smiled at waved back at him before turning to Cara. “Better be off,” he said. “Come by when you’re ready, I have something waiting for you.” Cara raised her eyebrow at him but he ignored it in favour of pulling her in for a searing kiss, the fingers of his hand that gripped her waist slipping beneath the fabric of her dress.. She held his arm for balance and smiled into it as he pulled away. She watched him walk out the door, only turning to Ada a few moments after it shut.

“Wow,” Ada said quietly, she was trying to contain her amusement. “He is very handsome, isn’t he?” She was slightly teasing, and Cara could only respond with a flustered nod. “Shall we go back to mine, then?”

The ride to Ada’s house went by quickly again, and the conversation didn’t stop for many hours after arriving. They talked about everything on Cara’s mind, dissecting every little aspect of every angle. Sometimes it was difficult to think of the far future, how everything would work, but Ada had some sage advice for Cara. “You can’t think too far ahead, what’s happening right now is most important.” She said, “Take it from me… cherish the time you have, don’t waste it worrying.”

She was right and it was settled, Cara wouldn’t allow herself to worry. After they played with Karl and then finished dinner, Ada helped pack her suitcases back up. She was changing into more sensible clothes while Ada folded up the dress she bought her and she said, “You’d better visit me more often, or at least when you get sick of each other.” Her tone was teasing but she really meant it.

“Of course I will,” Cara scoffed as she pulled on her wool stockings, “You’re a thirty minutes drive away, don’t be stupid.”

“Maybe we can double date or something.” Ada laughed at herself for saying it.

“Double date?” Cara stopped and looked at her. “Who’re you dating?” 

“I don’t know, maybe Harry…” Ada bit her lip to keep from grinning.

“O-oh,” Cara shook her head and smiled, “I don’t think Alfie would be into that, he’s… private. But either way you’ll see me at least once a week, I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to it.” Ada grinned finally and they finished packing in relative silence. It wasn’t long before her car was packed with the suitcases, Karl, and the sisters and driving off to the bakery. It was already dark by the time they arrived and Cara’s heart fluttered with excitement. She said goodbye to her sister and her nephew and made her way into the dark and mostly empty bakery.

She saw the light was on in Alfie’s office as she approached it, and as she opened the door she was met with an enticing sight. He was leaned back in his chair, feet up on the desk. He must have recently returned from some errand because he still had his hat and coat on. The desk lamp only illuminated half of his face and as he looked up at the sound of the door opening his eye crinkled, his normally menacing silhouette brightening as he saw it was Cara. She didn’t hesitate to leave her luggage at the door and make her way to the chair opposite him.

His eyes followed her as she took off her coat and sat down. He moved his legs off the desk, took off his own coat and hat, and resituated himself before saying in his gruff and quiet voice, “Is it mad that a little part of me thought you wouldn’t come back?”

“Yes,” Cara said smiling, “Absolutely fucking mad.”

“Fuck… right,” he scratched his beard and paused for a moment before reaching into one of his desk drawers. He rummaged for a second and pulled out a black velvet box the size of his palm and pushed it across the desk to her.

Cara picked it up and asked, “For me? Really?” She gave him a fond sort of look that made him slightly queasy. She opened the lid with a stunned gasp, inside was simply the most beautiful necklace she’d ever laid eyes on. It was a white gold heart shape inlaid with small pearls around the edges and in the center sat a large round sapphire. “Oh my god…” She whispered and tore her eyes away to look at him again.

“I was assessing a private collection a few days after we parted,” He leaned forward and cleared his throat, he was unsure if he wanted to continue, but decided to anyway. “I when I saw it… fuck, it made me think of you and I bought it off him.” He finally met her gaze and said, “I’ve had it waiting here for you since.”

Cara lifted the necklace out of its box stood up quickly, making her way around to his side of the desk, stopping short in front of him. “Help me put it on,” her words came in a rush. He joined her in standing and clasped it around her neck as she held her hair to the side. She shivered as his fingers brushed her skin, he saw it and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his lap as he sat back down.

“Cara fucking Shelby,” he murmured as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. 

“Alfie fucking Solomons,” she whispered as she kissed him.


End file.
